~MoO MoO~

2008-07-21T21:30:00.002+08:00

Pissed. So so pissed.

A new guy came today and i've been so busy. Hmm... what's the connection u may wonder. Well, i was busy setting up his computer, his email, the shared folders n all the admin work related to a new guy coming in. When did i become the admin girl? Well, i dunno. Seems that it was part of my job scope! Woo hoo! I love my life. -Pissed-

I swear this new guy probably has no idea i'm not the administrator. It's annoying really. Since when did i have to do all of that? The job is getting on my nerves. It seriously makes me feel like some dumb girl who has no brains and needs to get her learning from fixing the printer and all.

Doesn't help that i screwed up interviews today huh? Sighz...

for fun

2007-05-09T16:32:00.000+08:00

You Are a Fierce Femme

You have a wild side, and you aren't afraid to bring it out when the time is right.
But you also know when to hang back and keep your "crazy chick" persona in check.
In fact, some of your friends may be surprised to find out how far you can take it...
You may look mild mannered, but it's all an act!

How Daring Are You?

You Should Date A Swede!

You're a romantic, albeit an understated and practical one.
It's more about a steady partnership for you, not unrestrained falling
Your Swede will give you the unwavering love you crave
While making up some mean pancakes and meatballs on the side!

Which Foreign Guy Should You Date?

Your Kissing Technique Is: Perfect

Your kissing technique is amazing - and you know it.
You have the confidence to make the first move.
And you always seem to know what kissing style is going to work best.
Sometimes you're passionate, sometimes you're a tease. And you're always amazing!

Are You a Good Kisser?

You Have Your Sarcastic Moments

While you're not sarcastic at all times, you definitely have a cynical edge.
In your opinion, not all people are annoying. Some are dead!
And although you do have your genuine moments, you can't help getting your zingers in.
Some people might be a little hurt by your sarcasm, but it's more likely they think you're hilarious.

How Sarcastic Are You?

Your Famous Movie Kiss is from Cruel Intentions

"I'm the only girl you can't have, and it kills you."

What Famous Movie Kiss Are You?

You Are 73% Sexy

Your Sex Appeal Is: Extremely High

You're very sexy. You just have that certain something that takes over a room.
You know how to attract, entice, and keep whoever you want. You are truly appealing.

How Much Sex Appeal Do You Have?

New Blog

2007-03-09T23:04:00.000+08:00

Hey guys,

i will not be updating on this blog anymore from today onwards. I can no longer view this blog as a webpage and so i have no idea how my blog looks like to u guys now.

Instead, i've set up a new one for me to rant about the crazy things that happen in my life and stuff. It's http://yeeshs-gedanken.blogspot.com/I will not be deleting this blog cos i have too many posts in this one but neither will i be updating on it. Think i will try and transfer all the posts to my new blog and maybe after that, i will delete this one. =P

Alrightey, that's all from me.

Tschuss!

2007-02-27T18:51:00.000+08:00

2007-02-24T02:52:00.000+08:00

Another one of those silly tests i take when i get bored...

YeEsh, your position as middle child shows most strongly in your even-tempered nature.

Similar to other middle children, you are probably very stable emotionally which makes people feel at ease around you. In addition, having older and younger siblings taught you how to appreciate diverse points of view. You have learned that the best way to resolve conflict is by remaining calm and open to compromise. Like other middle children, you tend to radiate warmth, affection and maturity. You are likely to display an extraordinary ability to remain composed even in stressful situations. --> Comeon man, this is not a trait of all middle child lehs...

Birth order influences your relationship with your parents, siblings (if you have them) and how you ultimately learn to interact with the world. It can provide an insightful way to better understand your approach to friendships, romance, and how you meet life's challenges.

aft i was done with the post, i realised it's called nostalgia

2006-08-22T11:50:00.000+08:00

Been feeling weird since after Run2. Couldn't really quite figure out what was wrong till i read Yn Ay's blog. Yeah... lack of closure. I can still feel FTB in me. It's like it's not over but it's over! (Ok...sounds weird but i'm not high on vodka k? Not gonna take out some tube from my bag and start sipping. =P I'm sure u know what i mean.)

I feel, for the lack of a better word, WEIRD. I feel empty... It's like something's missing from my life. I's like i don't fit in anywhere. It's not really the people. (Hey, i'm not saying that the people are not important k? You have no clue how much i miss them all. It's just that the feeling is different even if i were to meet up with all my facilitators, SFs, helpers, org comm again.) It's not just the camp either. It's like a feeling. A "high" feel, a feeling that everything was alright and that my life is in order - No, i wun get that from vodka or sipping something from a tube that comes out of my pouch. Okay... very abstract. Quite sure some of you think i'm typing gibberish. But i really can't describe it. If u can look inside my heart/brain, then maybe you'll know what i mean.

Anyway, let's go back to talking about why i actually typed this entry. CLOSURE. Hmmm... yeah. I agree that there was a lack of closure but then again i'm not sure if i want a closure either. In fact, i don't really want it to end. There's really nothing wrong with a closure. Just that i'm insecure. I'm afraid that with a closure, i will lose all that i have gained in this summer. All the friends - my dearest facilitators - Yn Ay, Zo, Wensi, Alvin, Shah, Nat, CK and of cos all the rest of Run2, my dearest SFs - especially Esther and Jo (it doesn't take a genius to realise that Esther, Jo and I are very similar and click very well tgt yea?). I think a closure is scary. I have no clue what it will be like - whether it will do good for me cos it'll help in making me feel un-weird or it'll be bad cos i will lose all that i have gained.

Haiz... Maybe the problem is not with closure or no closure... Maybe the problem is me? Maybe i'm just too insecure? Maybe i should have joined Yn Ay and the rest of them on saturday? Oh, Whatever.

2006-08-14T00:49:00.000+08:00

Had absolute fun over the past 3 days... really proud of my facilitators. I'm GLAD that we all made Andrew so touched that he cried. Now looking forward to Mambo this coming wednesday. Let's flood that place with SMU facilitators!!! Hahhahah... i seriously can't imagine 6 sections worth of facilitators dere. Anyway, gotta keep this post short. I'm going for run 3 and i haven't done a single bit of packing. Hahhahah... So well, let all the pictures i have from my phone tell the story.

Yishan still doesn't have the beard yet... =) See the transformer thingy on my forehead? Courtesy of Clement the dieseased. =P

I love the sun on Yn Ay's forehead!!! So kawaii larh...

Ugly Yishan and CK... See? I have a beard already =P

Anyway, i shall post more after i've gotten all the photos from josh and the rest of the facilitators... There's a LOT more in store. Hhahaha... RUN 2 ROCKS!!! I LOVE YOU GUYS!!!

2006-07-26T23:21:00.000+08:00

Shawn mentioned that he thought my blog was meant for mindless bitching. And then he asked what happened. So oh well, it's back to mindless bitching. I just can't help it even though i now bitching is not good for my image and health.

Ok... here i go.

I have NEVER seen someone as rude as he is. Who the hell just uses someone else's password, logs in to her computer and then READS HER INTERNSHIP REPORT while she's at a meeting? Kaoz... that was plain RUDE.

I can't thank Sara enough for snapping at him and asking him to stop reading my stuff. Sara, I LOVE you. =)

And of cos, as most of you woud know by now. It usually takes more than one incident for a person to get the honour of being publicly shamed on my blog. So here's more... 2 weeks ago, i printed out an email from my supervisor to me. My supervisor gave me some advice on how to write my internship report and guess wad? This fella? He picked up the email from my desk without asking me, read it and even showed some stuff to the other colleague. @!@^%$#%$*%^&^ I was so MAD!!!

I swear that if he does it again, i'm gonna throw a pail of water at him. How rude can he get? And how freaking irritating? Doesn't he know what is invasion of privacy?

Seriously, it's so hard to be nice n sweet. I give up! Yishan the bitch is back!!!

For those who never knew which part they should sing in a chorus

2006-07-21T10:37:00.000+08:00

Something that got me really tickled this morning in the office. For those of who who dunno, i used to sing soprano. =P

Taken from http://www.tabulas.com/~resonance

THE YOUNG PERSON'S GUIDE TO THE CHORUS
and the time now is 01:18 pm

resonance

Been going around a number of blogs for a while... a little stress reliever for you guys

In any chorus, there are four voice parts: soprano, alto, tenor, and bass. Sometimes these are divided into first and second within each part, prompting endless jokes about first and second basses. There are also various other parts such as baritone, countertenor, contralto, mezzo soprano, etc., but these are mostly used by people who are either soloists, or belong to some excessively hotshot classical a cappella group (this applies especially to countertenors), or are trying to make excuses for not really fitting into any of the regular voice parts, so we will ignore them for now. Each voice part sings in a different range, and each one has a very different personality. You may ask, "Why should singing different notes make people act differently?", and indeed this is a mysterious question and has not been adequately studied, especially since scientists who study musicians tend to be musicians themselves and have all the peculiar complxes that go with being tenors, french horn players, timpanists, or whatever. However,this is beside the point; the fact remains that the four voice parts can be easily distinguished, and I will now explain how...

THE SOPRANOS are the ones who sing the highest, and because of this they think they rule the world. They have longer hair, fancier jewellery, and swishier skirts than anyone else, and they consider themselves insulted if they are not allowed to go at least to a high F in every movement of any given piece. When they reach the high notes, they hold them for at least half again as long as the composer and/or conductor requires, and then complain that their throats are killing them and that the composer and conductor are sadists. Sopranos have varied attitudes toward the other sections of the chorus, though they consider all of them inferior. Altos are to sopranos rather like second violins to first violins - nice to harmonise with, but not really necessary. All sopranos have a secret feeling that the altos could drop out and the piece would sound essentially the same, and they don't understand why anybody would sing in that range in the first place - it's so boring. Tenors, on the other hand, can be very nice to have around; besides their flirtation possibilities (it is a well-known fact that sopranos never flirt with basses), sopranos like to sing duets with tenors because all the tenors are doing is working very hard to sing in a low-to-medium soprano range, while the sopranos are up there in the stratosphere showing off. To sopranos, basses are the scum of the earth - they sing too damn loud, are useless to tune because they're down in that low, low range - and there has to be something wrong with anyone who sings in the F clef, anyway.

THE ALTOS are the salt of the earth - in their opinion, at least. Altos are unassuming people, who would wear jeans to concerts if they were llowed to.Altos are in a unique position in the chorus in that they are unable to complain about having to sing either very high or very low, and they know that all the other sections think their parts are pitifully easy. But the altos know otherwise. They know that while the sopranos are screeching way on a high A, they are being forced to sing elaborate passages full of harps and flats and tricks of rhythm, and nobody is noticing because the sopranos are singing too loud (and the basses usually are too). Altos get a deep,secret pleasure out of conspiring together to tune the sopranos flat. Altos have an innate distrust of tenors, because the tenors sing in almost the same range and think they sound better. They like the basses, and enjoy singing duets with them - the basses just sound like a rumble anyway, and it's the only time the altos can really be heard. Altos' other complaint is that there are always too many of them and so they never get to sing really loud.

THE TENORS are spoiled. That's all there is to it. For one thing, there are never enough of them, and choir directors would rather sell their souls than let a halfway decent tenor quit, while they're always ready to unload a few altos at half price. And then, for some reason, the few tenors are always really good - it's one of those annoying facts of life. So it's no wonder that tenors always get swollen heads - after all, who else can make sopranos swoon? The one thing that can make tenors insecure is the accusation (usually by the basses) that anyone singing that high couldn't possibly be a real man.. In their usual perverse fashion, the tenors never acknowledge this, but just complain louder about the composer being a sadist and making them sing so damn high. Tenors have a love-hate relationship with the conductor, too, because the conductor is always telling them to sing louder because there are so few of them. No conductor in recorded history has ever asked for less tenor in a forte passage. Tenors feel threatened in some way by all the other sections - the sopranos because they can hit those incredibly high notes; the altos because they have no trouble singing the notes the tenors kill themselves for; and the basses because, although they can't sing anything above an E, they sing it loud enough to drown the tenors out. Of course, the tenors would rather die than admit any of this. It is a little-known fact that tenors move their eyebrows more than anyone else while singing.

THE BASSES sing the lowest of anybody. This basically explains everything. They are stolid, dependable people, and have more facial hair than anybody else. The basses feel perpetually unappreciated, but they have a deep conviction that they are actually the most important part (a view endorsed by musicologists, but certainly not by sopranos or tenors), despite the fact that they have the most boring part of anybody and often sing the same note(or in endless fifths) for an entire page. They compensate for this by singing as loudly as they can get away with - most basses are tuba players at heart. Basses are the only section that can regularly complain about how low their part is, and they make horrible faces when trying to hit very low notes. Basses are charitable people, but their charity does not extend so far as tenors, whom they consider effete poseurs. Basses hate tuning the tenors more than almost anything else. Basses like altos - except when they have duets and the altos get the good part. As for the sopranos, they are simply in an alternate universe which the basses don't understand at all. They can't imagine why anybody would ever want to sing that high and sound that bad when they make mistakes. When a bass makes a mistake, the other three parts will cover him, and he can continue on his merry way, knowing that sometime, somehow, he will end.

Top Ten Reasons for Being a Soprano

1. The rest of the choir exists just to make you look good.

2. You can entertain your friends by breaking their wineglasses.

3. Can you name an opera where an alto got the man?

4. When sopranos want to sing in the shower, they know the tune.

5. It's not like you are ever going to sing the alto part by accident.

6. Great costumes - like the hat with the horns on it.

7. How many world famous altos can you name?

8. When the fat lady sings, she's usually singing soprano.

9. When you get tired of singing the tune, you can sing the descant.

10. You can sing along with Michael Jackson.

Top Ten Reasons for Being an Alto

1. You get really good at singing E flat.

2. You get to sing the same note for 12 consecutive measures.

3. You don't really need to warm up to sing 12 consecutive bars of E-flat.

4. If the choir really stinks, it's unlikely the altos will be blamed.

5. You have lots of time to chat during soprano solos.

6. You get to pretend that you are better than the sopranos, because everybody knows that women only sing soprano so they don't have to learn to read music.

7. You can sometimes find part time work singing tenor.

8. Altos get all the great intervals.

9. When the sopranos are holding some outrageously high note at the end of a song, the altos always get the last words.

10. When the altos miss a note, nobody gets hurt.

Top Ten Reasons for Being a Tenor

1. Tenors get high - without drugs.

2. Name a musical where the bass got the girl.

3. You can show the sopranos how it SHOULD be sung.

4. Did you ever hear of anyone paying $1000 for a ticket to see 'The three Basses?'

5. Who needs brains when you've got resonance?

6. Tenors never have to waste time looking through the self-improvement section of the bookstore.

7. You get to sing along with John Denver singing "Aye Calypso."

8. When you get really good at falsetto, you can make tons of money doing voice-overs for cartoon characters.

9. Gregorian chant was practically invented for tenors. Nobody invented a genre for basses.

10. You can entertain your friends by impersonating Julia Child.

Top Ten Reasons for Being a Bass

1. You don't have to tighten your shorts to reach your note

2. You don't have to worry about a woman stealing your job.

3. Or a preadolescent boy stealing your job.

4. Action heroes are always basses. That is - if they ever sang, they would sing bass.

5. You get great memorable lyrics like bop, bop, bop, bop.

6. If the singing job doesn't work out, there's always broadcasting.

7. You never need to learn to read the treble clef.

8. If you get a cold, so what.

9. For fun, you can sing at the bottom of your range and fool people into thinking there's an earthquake.

10. If you belch while you're singing, the audience just thinks it is part of the score.

2006-07-19T10:38:00.000+08:00

When did you stop sharing feelings with certain people?

When did you stop doing things for passion?

When did you stop playing?

When did you stop watching cartoons?

When did you stop acting like a child?

When did you stop singing?

And... when did you lose your soul?

Yeesh remembers seeing Charmaine for the first time in sec 1 - we sat beside each other staring at the super fierce Ms Toh with absolute fear. Yeesh remembers Charmaine consoling her. =)

Yeesh remembers seeing herself on the swing - Dada was on the swing next to her and Dada was going so high that she flipped and fell from the swing. Yeesh remembers that she didn't know whether to laugh or cry. =S

Yeesh remembers herself on one end of the see-saw - Jill was on the other end and Yeesh was trying hard to make her butt hurt by bouncing really hard. -grins- Yeesh remembers making Charmaine "fly" from the see-saw as well. =D

Yeesh remembers herself sitting in the AJ auditorium - Smurf was 2 seats away from her but the two of them just couldn't be bothered to speak to each other. Smurf was so dao! -Hmpf!-

Yeesh remembers herself at a playground in Sembawang Park - Smurf, HX and Siru were all around, discussing o level results. Yeesh passes a cup of F&N Fruitade to HX. HX said it tasted like cough mixture. =P

Yeesh remembers running for Students' Council - Siru thought HX, Smurf and Yeesh were all mad. And all 3 of them nearly died when Yeesh stood up saying that she would like to run for an exco position. -oops-

Yeesh remembers sitting at the table outside the staff room with Yu Feng - Yeesh was told that being so close to HX and Smurf will affect the council dynamics and will hurt the council. Yeesh remembers agreeing totally. She remembers agreeing to stay away from HX and Smurf.

After that, Yeesh remembers no more... she switched to another gear which made her totally robotic.

2006-07-12T18:08:00.000+08:00

I've actually got this mega big thing to do now... BUT... i'm really lethargic... can't seem to command any energy from myself. Haiz... you know what i hate about the office?
Well, even when you feel really tired and you wanna go for a walk, you have nowhere to go. Arghhh... miss the old SMU campus. At least when i'm bored, i can go for a walk in botanical gardens. -Grrr-

Anyway, i'm bored so as usual, i'm surfing the net and complteing stupid quizzes.

Your Hair Should Be Orange

Expressive, deep, and one of a kind.
You pull off "weird" well - hardly anyone notices.

What's Your Funky Inner Hair Color?

Hee... well, it IS orange. =)

You Are Batman

Billionaire playboy by day. Saving the world by night.
And you're not even a true superhero. Just someone with a lot of expensive toys!

What Superhero Are You?

Ouch... that hurts. I'm not even a superhero superhero?

You Should Be an Actor

You have a flair for the dramatic, and you probably already do a lot of acting in your day to day life, just to entertain yourself.
No need to steal the spotlight from your friends... You'll get plenty of attention once you start acting professionally!

What Sort of Artist Should You Be?

Your Christmas Stocking Will Be Filled With Coal

You haven't been *that* naughty this year
Santa is just screwing with you

What Will Be In Your Christmas Stocking?

WHAT THE...???

You Are The Sun

You represent the best of life - vitality, success, and and truth.
You tend to have a strong, centered, balanced personality.
Inspiration and discovery are your fortes. You are very mentally strong.
A talented mind, you tend to excel at math, philosophy, and music.

Your fortune:

As well as you have done in the past, the future is going to be filled with more success.
A new creative project is coming your way. Feed it, and it will grow into something huge.
Great riches, recognition, prosperity, or happiness is coming your way.
And it's possible that a fantastic vacation, or a new baby, is coming sooner than you think.

What Tarot Card Are You?

Ok... much better

You Are Bert

Extremely serious and a little eccentric, people find you loveable - even if you don't love them!

You are usually feeling: Logical - you rarely let your emotions rule you

You are famous for: Being smart, a total neat freak, and maybe just a little evil

How you life your life: With passion, even if your odd passions (like bottle caps and pigeons) are baffling to others

The Sesame Street Personality Quiz

i donch want!!! I wanna be Ernie!!! or Elmo!!!

i'm getting REALLY old

2006-07-04T18:14:00.000+08:00

For those of you who thinks that listening to power 98 was old (ah giam in particular),

well, a couple of years ago,

i started on Class 95. It was great. Nice songs from the 90s, once in a while a sucky hit from the 80s.

a year ago, i starting switching between channels,

i moved on to Gold 90.5. Not too bad either. A couple of hits from the 80s. Some nice oldies.

a month back,

i started listening to Yahoo! radio. Listened to "lite office music". then, hits from the 70s. (was looking out for Abba)
then, over the past 2 days,

i started on
1) Big bands
2) Jazz classics
3) Smooth jazz

and today,

FRANK SINATRA fan radio.
I even fell in love with the medley Dean Martin did with Frank Sinatra and the video of Elvis Presley performing together with Frank Sinatra.

Okay. Fine, i'm hopelessly OLD.

2006-07-03T01:38:00.000+08:00

It's 5.15am. I just got back from watching a match and damn it!!! Brazil lost.

Haiz... First Argentina and now Brazil. There's really nothing much to look forward to in this world cup anymore. I'm depressed. - pouts -

Anyway, watched today's match at Marcus' house. My initial plan was to go for supper with them and then go home but lalala... I ended up watching the Brazil match with them.

Oh ya... think I forgot to add. Them = Marcus, Melvin and most importantly, my SHARON DARLING~~ Lol... I haven't seen that dear girl in ages. Think today's the only time I've seen her and spoken to her for more than 5 minutes in like half a year.

It's been quite a while since the two of us last spoke about sad/happy things. It's also been quite a while since the two of us said the same thing at the same time. Hahahha... Sharon dear, you do remember how that always happens ya? And of cos those test results we had. The two of us would always end up with the same results. It's freaky sometimes you noe?

Anyway, Sharon dear, if ur reading this entry. Pls do remember that you are supposed to show me photo of a particular someone. - winks - And oh ya... remind me to check about going Spain on exchange with you, taking 3 star with you and lastly, remind me to book you for the finals of world cup. =)

Alrightey, shall go to bed now and IF I still dun feel sleepy, shall go jogging. Feel inspired to go jogging after seeing all those players do their crazy running on the field. =)

2006-06-02T14:18:00.000+08:00

I'm in the office now slacking as you can see. =P

You Have A Type A- Personality

You are one of the most balanced people around
Motivated and focused, you are good at getting what you want
You rule at success, but success doesn't rule you.

When it's playtime, you really know how to kick back
Whether it's hanging out with friends or doing something you love!
You live life to the fullest - encorporating the best of both worlds

Do You Have a Type A Personality?

You Are Not a Cook

You know cooking isn't for you, and you wouldn't even consider trying to make a homecooked meal.
And this is a very good thing. You've saved all your friends and family from unintentional food poisoning!

Are You A Good Cook?

You Are 50% Boyish and 50% Girlish

You are pretty evenly split down the middle - a total eunuch.
Okay, kidding about the eunuch part. But you do get along with both sexes.
You reject traditional gender roles. However, you don't actively fight them.
You're just you. You don't try to be what people expect you to be.

How Boyish or Girlish Are You?

And so... i'm not 3/4 guy!!! Lol... just half k?

Your Ideal Pet is a Bird

You're both very smart, very expressive, and very temperamental.
You're as likely to bite your bird as it is to bite you.

What's Your Ideal Pet?

Your Monster Profile

Behemoth Giant

You Feast On: Grass

You Lurk Around In: Closets

You Especially Like to Torment: Crybabies

What's Your Monster Name?

Your Brain is 53% Female, 47% Male

Your brain is a healthy mix of male and female
You are both sensitive and savvy
Rational and reasonable, you tend to keep level headed
But you also tend to wear your heart on your sleeve

What Gender Is Your Brain?

okay...almost time for my meeting. Shall stop now. Lol

2006-05-24T22:19:00.000+08:00

Really tired now but dunno why... just don't feel like sleeping earlier
so... i'm back doing silly things...

Your Five Variable Love Profile

Propensity for Monogamy:

Your propensity for monogamy is high.
You find it easy to be devoted and loyal to one person.
And in return, you expect the same from who you love.
Any sign of straying, and you'll end things.

Experience Level:

Your experience level is low.
You've probably either had only one relationship..
Or all of your relationships have been very similar.
You still have a lot to learn... and a lot to try!

Dominance:

Your dominance is medium.
You tend to be the one with more power.
You aren't a total control freak in relationships..
But of course you don't mind getting you way!

Cynicism:

Your cynicism is low.
You are an eternal optimist when it comes to love and romance.
No matter how many times you've been hurt - you're never bitter.
You believe in one true love, your perfect soulmate.
And if you haven't found true love yet, you know you will soon.

Independence:

Your independence is low.
This doesn't mean you're dependent in relationships..
It does mean that you don't have any problem sharing your life.
In your opinion, the best part of being in love is being together.

The Five Variable Love Test

Your Animal Personality

Your Power Animal: Eagle

Animal You Were in a Past Life: Whale

You are active, a challenger, and optimistic.
Hard-working, you are always working towards a set goal.

The Animal Personality Test

You Are Scooter

Brainy and knowledgable, you are the perfect sidekick.
You're always willing to lend a helping hand.
In any big event or party, you're the one who keeps things going.
"15 seconds to showtime!"

The Muppet Personality Test

Now... who the heck is Scooter? I dun even remember him in Muppets.

You Are a Rainbow

Breathtaking and rare
You are totally enchanting and intriguing
But you usually don't stick around long!

You are best known for: your beauty

Your dominant state: seducing

What Type of Weather Are You?

Hahahah... i was expecting a thunderstorm.

You're An Alcoholic

Time to go back to step one.

What Kind of Drunk Are You?

Fine. Just a confirmation k?

You Are Barney

You could have been an intellectual leader...

Instead, your whole life is an homage to beer

You will be remembered for: your beautiful singing voice and your burps

Your life philosophy: "There's nothing like beer to give you that inflated sense of self-esteem."

The Simpsons Personality Test

2006-05-24T01:15:00.000+08:00

Hmm... i really should be doing up the proposal Cedric told me to do.
Or typing my report or Alvin...
Or doing my presentation for Eunice...
Or preparing myself for the event tomorrow...
Or getting myself ready for the seminar on Thursday so that i can present my learning to Zee...
But oh well, i decided to blog.

Haiz... i really need some opinion. So guys who are reading this, please give me some advice?

Here's the situation:

1) I've just been asked to help organize the Business School Dinner
2) I've also been asked to help organize Sports Fiesta
3) It seems that i may be asked to do Sports Awards night as well
4) I have Tapestry at the same time
5) Internship now
6) Being a senior facilitator as well

Problem?

1) I kinda swear off events. I thought they were too much for me to handle
2) My grades last semester was really bad. I kinda decided to focus on my studies. Of cos, i mentioned something about how i shld be concentrating on getting a bf as well.
3) Besides having to choose between the events, i also have ExPLOR to worry about. I dunno how heavy the workload will be but i don't think it will be something i dun have to commit.
4) I dunno how heavy the workload will be for these events either... And what's the commitment level required from me during summer? I'm like packed this summer...

But...

1) I've been re-thinking about wanting juz a simple life. It's something really desirable but am i made for a simple life? It seems that God made me for something much bigger than just being a house wife right?
2) I'm also re-thinking about getting myself a bf. Well, if its meant to be, it will be. Why do i have to change my life or limit my growth just so that i can get a bf? If it's meant to be, then i will be able to get a bf even when i'm busy and dying from work.
3) I wrote this little prayer in church a few weeks back (7th May). Here's a short line from it: "You've made me to be capable of great things... Teach me how to lead my life the way You want it... To live it to the fullest and not the way i want it to be."

Now you know why i'm troubled? So HOW?

2006-05-18T03:39:00.000+08:00

Haven't blogged in a while huh? Been really busy.
Internship. Haiz... it's kinda sucky.
The more i work,
the more i realise that i wanna remain a kid forever.

Anyway, was looking at some Jewel songs lyrics.
Found this one really very interesting.
Sounds like the kinda mentality i have now huh?
Working hard to disprove what everyone says about me.

I won't walk away - Jewel

I was thinkin..
that I might fly today
just to disprove
all the things that you say
it doesnt take a talent to be mean
words can crush things that are unseen
so please be careful with me
Im sensitive and I'd like to stay that way

you always tell me that its impossible
to be respected and be a girl
whys it gotta be so complicated
why you gotta tell me if I'm hated
please be careful with me
Im sensitive and I'd like to stay that way

I was thinking that it might do some good
if we robbed the senate and took all their food
that way what they believe will have taken place
and we'll give it to everybody who has some faith oh
please be careful with me
I'm sensitive and I'd like to stay that way

I have this theory that if we're told we're bad
than thats the only
idea we'll ever have
maybe if we are surrounded in beauty
maybe someday we will become what we see
cause anyone can start a conflict
its harder yet to disregard it
Id rather see the world from another angle
we are everyday angels
be careful with me cause Id like to stay that way

Kid's Letters to God

2006-05-03T00:42:00.000+08:00

I love them. Can i be one of them again? I hate being old.

http://bitsandpieces1.blogspot.com/2006/01/childrens-letters-to-god.html

2006-04-29T19:59:00.000+08:00

"You'll attach yourself to anyone who shows you the least bit of attention, won't you?"

-Ingrid, White Oleander (Book)

Don't attach yourself to anyone who shows you the least bit of attention because you're lonely. Loneliness is the human condition. No one is ever going to fill that space.

- Ingrid, White Oleander (Movie)

Babe, i seriously gotta stop copying quotes from your blog.

2006-04-29T00:10:00.000+08:00

I din wanna spend it like that but i did.
I actually spent the first few moments of my birthday crying. I've never had a worst birthday. And nopes... i'm not being overly emotional. It's not like i have too much water inside of me. Shes really out to pick a fight. Whatevers... I dun care anymore. Just leave me alone.

Thankews u cool freaks

2006-04-28T01:43:00.000+08:00

Hahhaha... had a lot of fun today.

1) Took a Waterfall --> had my face like in the fire larhhh... so scary
2) Made every single person there act cute and take a photo with me.
3) Got "trapped" in a freezing cold room for 7 minutes without a jacket just so that i din hafta finsih up the cake. (the cake is good. Just that i was really really full. Thanks for the cake Don. Always wanted to get something from awfully chocolate. =) )

Will give you guys more details when i get the photos. Yeah... i'm gonna post all the act cute photos!! Yay!!! =P If u dun want me to, wells, u guys can bribe me.

Thankews cool freaks. Lurve ya guys. =)

2006-04-25T22:40:00.000+08:00

Your Dream Engagement Ring Has a Round Diamond!

A round diamond is classic and timeless, just like your style
Your diamond will always look with the times - and goes with everything
Of all diamonds, round diamonds show the most sparkle
They are often chosen by sweet, dependable women who make marriage their #1 priority.

What's Your Dream Engagement Ring?

Your Celebrity Style Twin is Kirsten Dunst

More hippie chic than hippie chick.

Who's Your Celebrity Style Twin?

You Are a Light Pink Rose

You represent sweetness and grace.

Your vibe: Kind and gentle

Falling in love with you: is like falling in love with a best friend

What Color Rose Are You?

Hahaha... i'm PINK. Best of all, i'm SWEET n GENTLE. Lol... i think lotsa of people are going to doubt the reliability of this test.

You Are a Fierce Femme

How Daring Are You?

You Should Date An Italian!

You love for old fashioned romance, with an old fashioned guy
An Italian guy is the perfect candidate to be your prince charming
If your head doesn't spin enough, just down another espresso with him
Invest in a motorcycle helmet - and some carb blocker for all that pasta!

Which Foreign Guy Should You Date?

Counselling session

2006-04-22T21:34:00.000+08:00

I need a counselling session. Need to sit and talk about things.
Problem: With who?

Colorgenics

2006-04-20T11:31:00.000+08:00

Saw this on Sharon's blog so decided to give it a try. Babe, you are correct. This thing is so accurate. It's freaky... so scary. Oh well, mabbe not as freaky as how we always have the same results in personality tests. Hahahah...

Results:

You are the sort of person that needs a peaceful environment. You seek release from stress and freedom from conflicts and disagreements, of which you seem to have had more than your fair share. But you are taking pains to control the situation by proceeding cautiously and you are right in doing so as you are a very sensitive person.

You are feeling very vulnerable at this time. Nothing seems to be going in the right direction - business wise, private-life wise, everything. You need some emotional security and an environment which could possibly provide fewer problems, but the way you are feeling you can't be bothered even to make the effort.

At times all of us would like to be like the ostrich - to be able to bury our heads in the sand and let the rest of the world go by, but unfortunately you can't do just that - you have to face up to reality. A little peace and quiet would be most acceptable at this time but if only one could turn a blind eye to the problems of the day! Tomorrow is another day and who knows, it could be 'today' (not tomorrow) that could be the first day of the rest of your life!

Whatever you strive to do, something always seems to be holding you back. There is no subterfuge in you. You are a clear thinker and all you demand from life, in a relationship, is a partner whom you can trust and with whom you can, together, develop a foundation of trust based on understanding. You are your own person and you demand freedom of thought to follow your own convictions. You have no interest in 'two-timing' and all you seek is sincerity and 'straight-dealing'.

You wish to be left in peace... no more conflict and no more differences of opinion. In fact you just don't want to be involved in arguments of any shape or form. All you want is for 'them' to get on with it - and to leave you alone.

2006-04-16T22:45:00.000+08:00

I think i was supposed to be studying...

Not a Girl, Not Yet a Woman

Inside you've got the passion and ideals of a teenager
And your intensity for life is what attracts most of the men you date
You also like to party - and quite often you're the life of the party
You've brought the best of your younger years with you... at least most of the time.

Are You A Girl Or a Woman?

2006-04-16T20:57:00.000+08:00

It's not even 5.30am and i've already been up for about an hour. I was actually studying worh....Win right?
Ever seen Yeesh so hardworking? Oh well, as much as i would like you guys to think that i am hardworking, i just cannot lie.
I'm awake because of snoring. Yeah... you heard me right.
I'm awake because my brother's sleeping in the same room as me now and his snoring is like mega duper loud!!!

Arghhh... -pulls hair-
i slept at 1.30am and i'm up by 4.30am cos i got woken up by his snoring!!! I'm like 7 hours short of sleep i would like to have.
I'm really sleepy now. If u give me a decent place to sleep, i can just like totally concuss.
But as much as i wanna sleep, the moment i slip into my sleeping bag and shut my eyes, my brother's extremely heavy breathing a.k.a snoring makes me so irritated that i simply can't!
In fact, just about 15 minutes ago, i had half a mind to go whack him and ask him to shut up. Actually erm... ok, maybe i did half of that. I whacked him.
Then, he stirred in his sleep a little.
Then when back to sleep and before long... ...
He started snoring again!!! Piangz... symphony 92.4 also not 24 hours can?
Some kind soul please tell me what i can do to shut him up?

I used to admire my mum and my aunts all for finding hubbies who are very patient and very sweet towards them. My daddy and my uncles are all known to be either Mr. Goody Two Shoes or Mr Family Man.
Now, i admire them for something other than that. I admire them for being able to tolerate snoring.
How ever can you sleep beside a man who snores like an engine coughing!?!?! And guess what, all of them did it. 15 years is the minimum here. Friends, 15 years lehh....
Don't get me to try 15 years. 15 minutes is enough. Enough to drive me to either

1) chase him out of the room or
2) go sleep in another room or
3) make him wear an oxygen mask to sleep

I tell you. If there's one thing that i am thankful for right now, i am thankful that my brother is not my bf/hubby.
If he is, i will gladly walk the plank. Walk the plank? Hell, i might even run to the plank in joy and cheer when the sharks feed on me.
Who on planet Earth can actually tolerate his "symphony"?

-15 minutes later-

I tried. I really did. He was a lot softer already. But still, i failed. And its absolutely not my fault. I swear he is out to kill my sleep.
The moment i shut my eyes, he goes into a crescendo!!! And after that crescendo, he stays at that volume!!! Someone kill him PLEASE!!!

2006-04-10T12:03:00.000+08:00

Was reading wen's blog and tried out a lot of quizzes. Only posted this one cos it's really very very interesting.

You'll Find Love Where You Least Expect It

You're the type most likely to find love... surprised?
You shouldn't be! You're a fun, independent woman who is always out and about.
And you're smart to sometimes leave your girlfriends behind and go it alone.
Men love to approach you when you're out by yourself - including Mr. Perfect!

Where Will You Find Love?

Hmm... issit only my imagination or did they use the picture of a PIG? And soooo... my Mr. Perfecto will appear in the form of a PIG? Nice one.

Pre-Exam Wishlist

2006-04-10T10:06:00.000+08:00

A couple of things i wish i have now. Nono... let's change it to things i NEED to have.

1) A latte (one from TCC will do just fine. I wun mind an earl grey either.)
2) My Lisa Ono CD (i sho very badly wanna listen to her songs and i dun have them on my lappy)
3) My dearest Adrian (He makes me explain all the ethical theories to him and it helps me memorise them. My brain is currently devoid of ethical theories.)
4) A nice good massage (My sister says this is a sign of ageing... #!@%%*^(&*)
5) Lastly, i need a pair of eyes which won't close the moment they read about ethical theories.

Okay... thats about it. FAIRY GODMOTHER!!!!!! Where art thou?

2006-04-06T17:36:00.000+08:00

Heard this on Class95 about 5 minutues ago. Decided to type it out before i forget. =P

"A 60-year-old couple was about to celebrate their 40th wedding anniversary. On this special day, a fairy came to them and said:' since the two of you have been so good, i shall grant both of you a wish on this very special day.' The wife said:' i want a trip around the world with my husband.' Then, WoOSH... air tickets, criuse tickets etc all appeared in the wife's hands. Fairy to husband:'so what about you?' The husband said:'I want a companion who's 30 years younger.' Then, WoOsh... the husband turned from 60 year olds to 90 years old."

Woo HOo... don't you guys just love the fairy? =P

The end of my sufferings

2006-03-29T19:03:00.000+08:00

My CAT presentation is over. walalalalalala. Hahahha... Yishan is now going crazy with joy. The professor was actually quite pleased with the project. She said she was impressed by the project. Hahahha... nope. The system wasn't impressive. It's just that we only had 2 weeks to work on it, so erm... as long as you actually have a decent system at the end of the 2 weeks. It's not too bad already.

But of cos, i'm happy not just because of that. It's because i suddenly realised how not alone i am in this world. So actually people DO care. It's really quite touching you know? Never knew so many people actually read my blog. Hahaha... Esp you Dodo. You knowing my blog add and reading it came as quite a shock. Hhahaha... And Dodo, I MISS YOU!!! I wanna be back in year 1 doing LTB with you guys again.

Anyway, now i shall take the chance to thank a few sweeties. Hahahah...

WanZhen: Thanks for listening to me whine. Thanks also for passing me tissue/consoling me when i was sobbing away yesterday in SR 5.1. And of cos the biggest thanks goes to you for bitching with me about u-noe-who. -grinz-

Ryan: Thanks for acting as the big bro and helping me curse those project group mates of mine. =P

Aud dear: Thanks for listening to me whine and staying late with me in school these few days. Really enjoyed your company though i didn't get much time to be with you alone.

Shorn: Thanks for being a sweetie. Hahahha... Ok... mabbe i shld change my nick for you. Can stop calling you evil. =P

Stanley: Hahahah... i never knew you could be so sweet. Really didn't expect you to care. Was really quite touched when you came over to ask me about the progress of the report.

Don: Hhahaha... thanks for helping to cheer me up. Going to Curry Favour with you guys was a really good idea. I felt so much better after that.

Jie mei: thanks for chatting with me on msn after the quarrel i had with my project group mate. It helped to calm me down a lot.

Sharon babe: thanks for cheering me on just before my presentation. Like what you predicted, it turned out ok. =)

Cass darling: Thanks for the morning call at 3.30am. Sorry i hung up on you. =P

To all those whom i may have missed out: Thanks for the support. The worst is now over. Dun worry. Yeesh won't be breaking down anymore in these few weeks.

2006-03-29T01:50:00.000+08:00

街灯绊住我眼前
下一步
拉长的影子
嘲弄的回顾
电话亭仍留着你的话
一句话掉一滴泪
今晚的我会是如何入睡
原来最疼痛的表情竟是没有情绪
原来最残忍的画面可以甜言蜜语
我不懂得如何更爱你
影子讽刺地跟着我难分难离
原来最孤单的是我还是那么想你
原来最悲哀的是我不能面对自己
你收的干净
我也会不留一点痕迹
说故事也要像是真的
可是别触动那些回忆
今夜你说了最后一句
一句话掉一滴泪
看来今晚的我很难入睡

Screaming Match

2006-03-28T00:37:00.000+08:00

Had a huge screaming match with my CAT project group mate just not too long ago. Shocked Ryan, Kenny and my dear totally. My poor dear. First time she's studying with me in SMU then she get to see screaming match and the ugly side of Yeesh already. But then, I seriously dunno how anyone can actually work with someone like him. Someone so idealistic. He seriously think with this *snaps fingers* means the whole system will be up and running? Fine. He's not the IS guy around so he doesn't know the difficulties of doing coding. But still, stop being so demanding. The IS guy in the group is not slacking k? He is working till 5/6am in the morning to write all the codes necessary. It's not easy on him.

He really needs to stop walking into the room and demanding that things be done the way he wants it. I know. He's coming from a business manager perspective. But still, we are doing a CAT project. In this project, we are all NOT business managers k? So quit coming into meetings demanding that things be done when you are not doing it!!!

This has gotta be the greatest clash between me and any project mate since the start of my SMU project life. Most of my project group mates are okay, if not, even happy with working with me. Even this semester, when my work is no longer as good as in the past, they are okay with working with me. Working with me is easy. I really don't ask for much. As long as you produce decent work, i'm fine. Even if i have to edit your part like crazy after you've put in effort, i'm fine. But at the very least, produce SOMETHING?

This particular group mate who actually made me so pissed that i had to scream at him? He doesn't do anything. No, not cos he is slack. He is very enthusiastic. But then he is over zealous. He keeps pushing people to work when it is not possible to do work at all. There are limitations in real life can?

In real life, fairy godmothers do not exist and even if they do, they cannot turn pumpkins into carriages just liddat *snaps finger*. Even my 5 year old darling Shimone knows that. She knows that she has to work for things and that if she wants a favour from anyone, she's gotta be guai and prove to the other person that she deserves the extra long bedtime story/hide n seek game/extra long tv time/a big hug.

So friend, quit walking into meetings demanding things. Show me that you took into consideration how things work in real life before you even demand for anything. And oh yeah... just in case you haven't realised. There are many things in life that you don't get just by demanding. You actually need to EARN them.

2006-03-22T15:08:00.000+08:00

What flower represents you?

Clean and simple, and so pretty, you are a DAISY. You're neither a rebel nor a conformist, you just go where you go and everyone else can make of that what they will. You don't like a lot of fuss, and you're not high maintenance, but you do have firm standards and no time for people or things that fail to live up to them. You're traditional, but modern things do not intimidate you, and sometimes you even skate along the edge of a trend, too, and do it quite nicely. You don't try that hard to make people like you, but they do. You fit everywhere.
Take this quiz!

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Join

| Make A Quiz | More Quizzes | Grab Code

Why the sudden interest in my love life?

2006-03-15T01:27:00.000+08:00

Didn't wanna start the post with some form of bitching but I really badly wanted to blog and blogger had to be down. $#@^%$&%* What a nice time. Now I know why my dearest babe actually switched to wordpress. Maybe I should go there as well. Afterall, too many people now know my blog add. It's now quite unsafe to be blogging.

Anyway, today's the birthday of dearest Huiwen. She's gotta be the oldest friend I have. Hahahah... I've known her since the beginning of time. Well, this naughty girl who's always asking me to update her about my love life got herself attached 6 months ago and I just found out like a few days ago. Win lorh… ask me to update you then you TTMM(偷偷摸摸). And oh well, the most ultimate part is this. She's attached to my primary school classmate. (-__-)"

We were messaging for a while and then she popped the question. Hahah… "So how about you? Got updates?" Haiyoh...what is it with the people around me? I don't think I'm being overly sensitive. People around me are indeed getting very interested in my love life recently. My uncle's been having "talks" with me. Hahahh...talks about how I should concentrate on my studies and getting myself a bf. My parents have been dropping hints. Like: "Girl, a woman shouldn't be too headstrong. And being a 女强人 is not good. They have to go through a lot of pain alone."

Haiyoh...they hafta be in my shoes to truly understand. It's not that Yeesh is fussy can? She'[s really not that demanding. Look at LT. Those of you who have seen LT would totally know what I mean. Hahah... till today, more than a year later, I'm still trying to find out why I was so into him. He totally cannot make it larh...

Dunno why but I seem to give people the impression that I am fussy, demanding, difficult to please etc etc. In short, I'm quite a pain in the ass. Hahahh… I know. I CAN be quite a pain at times. But still, do I really appear so bad? –Innocent big deer eyes-

Okok... enough laming for the day. I've still got a quiz and a report waiting for me. When I'm slightly more free and boliaos, I will go find out why people think that about me. =P

I adopted eggies!!!

2006-03-07T17:50:00.000+08:00

Happy Weekend =)

2006-03-07T04:36:00.000+08:00

Realised that my previous few posts were all pretty sad and depressing. Hahha... Made it seem as if Yishan had a really sad life. Oh wells, actually things are not that bad. I actually have pretty good weekends. Yes, even when i have to be back in school on weekends.

Anyway, this weekend, i met up with my aunts and my cuzzie. Went West Mall for dim sum =). Really glad. Got good food and shuai ge to carry my 3kg lappy. Hhahah... My cuzzie volunteered to help me carry my 3kg lappy while the women shop and he tagged along. And he never once complained larhh...So sweet. The world should really be filled with more gentlemen like him.

After stuffing ourselves with dim sum, we went to my aunt's place to stone, sleep and to chat chat while waiting for the rest of the family to reach. During this short chatting session, my aunt mentioned that she plans to buy me an mp3 player as birthday pressie!!! Yippee... Hahaha... It's always nice to get a present instead of an angpow. Think it's really nicer. =) Anyway,the rest of the family reached at 6pm and here's where the interesting part comes.

My family had dinner together and i went to play with my little cuzzie after dinner. During this short session, my little Shimone Pie promised to let my kor carry her if he helped her do something. My kor did as he was told. And after he did, she ran to my aunt and stuck to my aunt. AHahha... When my Kor asked her if he could carry her, she just said:" NO! I dun like Gaston!!!" (Side note: Gaston is the bad guy who likes Belle in Beauty and Beast. My kor is nicknamed Gaston cos Shimone Pie dun like both Gaston and my kor. =P)

Hahah... My kor can never understand why he is treated so badly by her. He doesn't bully her what. Hhahahah... And to show you how biased that little 5-year-old is, here's a story.

My kor went to dye his hair blue recently and now, it's faded to a pink. Don't ask me how. Besides that, he also uses a lot of gel to make his hair stand. And oh... Pink happens to be that silly girl's favourite colour.

Aunt: "Shimone, how come you don't like Gaston? He's been so nice to you."

Shimone:" I don't like people with pink hair."

Kor:" Then what color you like? I go color my hair that color."

Shimone:"Black."

Kor:"But Ah-shan jie jie has colored hair. She has brown and red."

Shimone:"It's okay. Ah-shan jie jie's one i like. It's nice."

At this time, my kor was liddat. (-__-)"

Me (a.k.a Ah shan jie jie): "Shimone dear, what if Ah Shan jie jie go change my hair color to pink?"

Shimone:"It's okay for girls to have pink hair. I just don't like boys with pink hair."

Now my kor is like that. (-___-)"""

At the same time, Shimone changed from being carried by my aunt to being carried by Samuel, my dearie gentlemenly cuzzie. And so my kor refuses to give up and tries again.

Kor:"Shimone, what if samuel kor kor changes his hair color to pink? Samuel kor kor also a boy right?"

This time around, Shimone took a while. In her little mind, she knew she HAD to get out of this situation. She dunch want to let my kor bao bao her. So this is what she said.

Shimone:"It's okay if it's samuel kor kor. I don't like boys with pink standing pink standing up hair." (samuel doesn't gel his hair. can't be bothered)

My kor --> (-___-)"""""""""
Hahahha... my kor 不死心 also cannot. She's simply biased.

It always nice to spend my weekends with them. Good food, great fun. =)

Happiness?

2006-03-02T23:50:00.000+08:00

Why must my happiness be associated with a ?

Spoke to my babe and dear a few days back. Was talking about happiness and me.

I've always wondered. Did God actually plan for happiness to be part of my life? I have absolutely no clue. All I know is that even if He didn't, it's for my own good. This I do not doubt. But i also know that if He didn't, there's a lot more pain coming my way. How will i handle these? Will i have the courage to go through all the pain and trials He prepared for me?

It's so scary thinking about it. I do not doubt that He's got something great for me at the end of this journey. But i can't see it now and that's what scares me. All i can see right now is this journey and all i want to do now is to make this journey as comfortable as possible. I know this is silly but i really can't help it but think this way.

I'm sure you guys know what i mean. I bet you guys have been through the same thing haven't you? Haven't you done once done something you know is wrong because it's the easier way out? Well, that's what i feel like doing now. I feel like taking the easy way out.

BUT I KNOW I CAN'T!!!

an F grade

2006-02-11T00:16:00.001+08:00

I'm tired.
Not cos of Waikiki.
Waikiki's part of the reason tho.
Work don't have the effect of killing Yeesh usually.
It's just the lack of people around me who really understands.
Nah. You guys have been great. You've all been trying so hard.
It's really Yeesh.
She's always so demanding that it becomes hard to be her really close friend.
She makes her close friends wanna die.
And of cos, she always feels sorry for herself.
She always wants the world to be filled with more Shimone pies.
She always want her friends to be understanding and sweet when she's not.
She of cos also expects the people around her to bear with her lousy temper and the whining habit.
Also, she expects her friends to be there when she herself is not.
It's Huixia's b-day next week. She hasn't even had time to go shopping. And when she start thinking about what to get hx, she realises that she has absolutely no idea.
That's how well she knows someone she calls her best friend.
Huixia wants to go Double O next week. Yeesh told her that she has set aside the day for her already. But. actually had a BUT!!! It's her birthday. There should have been absolutely no buts. That's how well she treats her best pal. Rocks.
Yeesh may be a success when it comes to work and other stuff but when it comes to freinds, she's a total flop. And guess what? She hates being a total flop.

Why cry when you KNEW you were going to be dissappointed?

2006-02-10T09:51:00.000+08:00

Title says it all.

3 year old fights

2006-01-26T12:41:00.000+08:00

I've apologized.

Was it Yeesh's fault?
Nope.

Did she "forgive" Yeesh?
Nope.

Did she reply to Yeesh's msg?
Nope.

Does Yeesh really care?
Nope.

Will Yeesh pacify her like she's her bf?
Nope.

Will Yeesh even TRY to understand?
Nope.

Does Yeesh care if she got to watch the Geisha in the end?
Nope.

Does Yeesh think that she's been a mega pain in the ass?
Oh man, that's a resounding YES!!!

Hmm... kinda spoilt the trend to the answers huh? But oh well, what can i do? I really think she's a huge pain in the ass. Not as if i didn't try. I tried k? Not like i didn't treasure the friendship. I really tried k? If she expects to be pacified, go get herself a bf... Don't expect me to do the job. I'm a girl. I sit around waiting for people to listen to me whine and pacify me. Not the other way round. And of cos, i think it's stupid. I'm a 20 year old. So is she. How come we still end up having kiddish 3 year old fights? "But u promised!!! I don't care. Don't friend you liaos la..." Lame... =P I will act like a 20 year old and not like her. Even Shimone pie is nicer and more mature.

2006-01-20T02:10:00.000+08:00

Second post of tonight. Wow... Yeesh's been hardworking huh?
Anyway, in a bad mood. Can't help it but blog more when i'm in a bad mood. Just published my previous post about 5 min ago and here i am, blogging again.

Well, saw shimone pie's pic while viewing my blog. Wanted to blog about her. Right now, all i really wanna do is to hug that little kiddo and tell her that jie jie misses her so much. Hopefully, that little hug will be able to bring a smile to my face. Nowadays, i don't really smile or laugh from my heart very often. Most of the time, i do that when i'm with Shimone pie... Only she can do silly things to make me laugh really hard. Silly things like running up to me saying a mega duper long PLEASEEEEEEEEEEEE expecting me to grant her wish. That's cute. But what's even cuter is when i don't grant her wish. Then she'll say: "BUT I SAID PLEASE!!!"

I really love her so much. Such a darling. A darling who will never tell me to do things i don't wanna do. A darling who will devote a very large part of her attention to me. A darling who will hug me and tell me that she loves me. A darling who will always wanna see me happy.

Why can't the world be filled with more Shimone pies?

2006-01-20T01:47:00.000+08:00

Yeesh hates the feeling like she's going crazy.
She hates to have to apologise when it's not her freaking fault.
She hates to hafta deal with old foggies who are pain in the ass.
She hates the feeling of wanting to talk to someone. BEFORE she goes mad.
She hates it even more when she has to resort to talking to the one because the other one is just not free.

Yeah...she ended up talking to the one. The one whom she should not speak of or speak to. The one told her to call him. Nah... she can't. She'll break if she does. She knows that if she called, she won't be able to speak clearly and she would end up crying. And of cos, if he managed to make her stop crying, she's in shit... She's would have most probably gotten herself into the same cycle as last year.

Yeah.. Yeesh cries as well. She's a very big crybaby in fact. HA... haven't seen that side of Yeesh, have u? Well, can't blame her can you? She's really dying here. Yeah... it's fulfilling to be so busy sometimes but she really wishes that she had more understanding ppl ard her. So far, most are fine. Actually, all but one are fine. They've been great. They've been helping me loads... Telling me to have proper meals, telling me to sleep early and helping me with work. But then, you've always gotta have one. Just ONE. One fren who refuses to understand and gets pissed at you for not watching geisha with her.

That's it. If she's still pissed after having apologized to her even when i din feel like it, then too bad. I'm not gonna try. I'm freaking tired. Last thing i need now is to go around rescuing friendships w friends who can't understand why i can't watch geisha with her in woodlands when i've got 3 freaking meetings in school.

2006-01-12T16:29:00.000+08:00

Was about to start this entry with something really bad. Was about to bitch but decided against it. Not like bitching about her is going to do me any good. SO... Yeesh is going to talk about the FEW things that managed to make her happy this year.

Top of the list: SHIMONE PIE

Went down to Princess' house yesterday. Yesterday was a really bad day and so i wanted to rest and relax a little. So, what better way than to go to her house and play with my little princess shimone pie? =)

Saw her new bedroom set and played with the new doll house my uncle bought for her. Hahahha... had such fun. It's always fun to see how 4 year old attempts to sleep in her own room for the first few times in her life. This is what my aunt told me. Apparently Shimone Pie will go into her own room every single night to TRY to sleep on her own. Then, 5 minutes later, she will walk back into my aunt and uncle's room and say:" Daddy, Mummy, I've tried already but cannot. Can i come back and sleep in my baby cot?" Hahahah... My dear Shimone Pie. SO CUTE!!!! Maybe someday i shld go and sleep in her room with her then she will be able to spend a nice night in her room.

As for her doll house,it's really pretty. How i wish i had something like that. It's totally made from wood and has a roof that can be removed. The doll house set comes with 5 dolls,Daddy, Mummy, Kor Kor, Jie Jie and Baby. It also comes with furniture, like a mop and a pail! Hahhah...How cute! BUT, the doll house made my aunt quite upset. Hhahah... She was upset cos of the size of the doll house. It's as tall as my darling Shimone Pie and it's really heavy and of cos, it's not cheap. It's really, really expensive. In fact, if i'm not wrong, my uncle had to get the doll house imported into Singapore. Hhahah... Obviously my aunt don't agree with buying expensive toys for the kiddo. But, u guys should really see what she did with the dolls and the doll house. Hahahha... she had so much fun.

Anyway, all in all, i had a lot of fun yesterday. Really don't regret slacking and not doing my meow meow assignment. =)

If only more people understood...

2005-12-31T02:18:00.000+08:00

22 more hours to the brand new year...

She's tired...
Just got home with a huge straw bag filled with her shopping trophies...
Had a little drink just now...
Felt a little groggy...
Nope...
Yeesh can drink...
It's just that she "intelligently" went to drink on a mega empty stomach...

She just went out with two of her best friends...
Wanted to try to see if she could close the gap...
Verdict?
Nope... She can't.
She's drifted too far away from them...
She was much happier shopping on her own than with them...
Shopping went fine...
How can shopping ever go wrong?
But the feeling was different...
Yeesh nearly snapped at them...

No no...not just nearly...
Yeesh DID snap at them...

Why?
Were they hostile/unfriendly?
Nope...
It was just Yeesh.
She was being anti social.
She was just on a mega "self protection" mode...

She's quite had enough of insults passed at her bags and her shopping and the clothes she likes even tho she know those insults were just simple jokes...
She fails to understand why she has to be teased just because of difference in preferences...

Yes, she may appear as if it didn't hurt...
That's how she looks all the time anyway...
But does it really mean that she didn't care?
Nope... she cared. BIG time...

Deep down, she wonders why her friends do that to her...
Just because she goes for the things they do not like?
If she can accept their taste...
Why can't they just accept hers?

And nope....
Saying things like:" Yeesh is weird you noe? She likes all the things we don't like..." does not help...
It just hurts more...
It makes Yeesh feel as if she has really bad taste...
Even though deep down inside her heart, she thinks that her taste is absolutely fine...

Nope... it's not like they don't care...
They are the two best girlfriends anyone can have...
The moment Yeesh said she was feeling groggy, they stepped right in to help take good care of her...
They just need to learn how to read her mind better...

B1's almost there.
She could tell that Yeesh was about to snap...
The other one? B2?
Well, let's just say she still needs some coaching...
Great actions and words do not mean anything...
They are all but actions and words...

It's the understanding that matters...
Yeesh likes the "look"...
With just lookin at the eyes of B1, Yeesh can feel a sense of assurance and calmness...
It makes her feel loved just to know that someone understands her...

Revenge?

2005-12-21T23:40:00.000+08:00

Most of you who have heard me talk abt LT noe that i want revenge yeah? Well, i still do. I still wanna let him know that he was a bastard. I wanna purposely bring my to-be-bf to somewhere he will be at. Then show him how happy i am/will be. I'm not expecting him to feel anything. I don't need him to feel anything at all. Whether he dies now or not is seriously not smthg that's of any concern to me.
Some of you, ok... MOST of you have reflected that this move(revenge) shows that i have not gotten over him. However, i don't see it this way. I have gotten over him. And nope, i'm not gonna USE my next bf. If i'm gonna take revenge, i'm gonna let my bf noe about it. And nope, i don't think my bf will be unhappy about it. What wrong with showing him off to other people? Like what i tell sharon, i just wanna show off my bf.
Show him off to BOTH my friends and LT.
To my friends so that they will feel happy for me that i have found my happiness. I know that my friends are quite sianz of seeing me being upset and so dull. I'm pretty sure that they will b happy to see a cheerful and happy me.
To LT so that i will feel happy. It's like a "Yeah... i've got a better guy than u now. I'm feeling so much happier than i was with you. U INFERIOR BEING!!!!" Woo Hoo~~~ Hahhahahah... yeah. Yishan is childish. But then why should i hide the fact that i think he is a bastard and that my to-be-bf is MUCH better than him? Hhahahaha...
Ok.. i talk like i have a to-be-bf on hand. Nopes... i don't. And i must clarify that. Don't wanna spoil my chances with some of the newly discovered cute guys. Whahahha...

LOTR Special

2005-12-19T01:23:00.000+08:00

I'm Sam!

Cynical and clumsy, but loyal and brave, you're Samwise Gamgee!

"I can't carry it for you, but I can carry you and it as well. So up you get! Come on, Mr. Frodo dear! Sam will give you a ride. Just tell him where to go, and he'll go."

Which hobbit in the fellowship of the Ring would you be?

I'm a Hobbit!

Though technically not your own race, you represent what's most enjoyable and best in the Lord of the Rings world. Your love, spirit and selflessness are unsurpassed among your Middle Earth brethren.

Which Lord of the Rings race are you?

What Piece of LotR Jewelry Are You?
brought to you by Quizilla

Frodo Baggins-you are a quiet person, but very
loyal and determined. You aren't much for
adventures and action, but you will always pull
through for your friends and will do anything
for the people you love. Yay.

Which LOTR Character Are You?
brought to you by Quizilla
You are...

Gandalf!

You are wise and know many things about the ring.
If the ring was not evil, I would give you the
ring to rule Middle Earth. But, I'm hoping you
wouldn't become evil like Saruman. *shudder*
The last thing we need is a second wizard gone
bad. Well, anywayz, my all-knowing friend, good
job!

Which LotR character from the Fellowship do you resemble?
brought to you by Quizilla

You are Brego! Here you come to save the day! You
are one cool horse, but slightly on the picky
side, but hey having a kick butt onwer whos the
king, yea definately awesome. You dream of your
golden stable in Gondor, you material horse
you.

Which LOTR Horse Are You?
brought to you by Quizilla

Orlando is the guy for you. The sexy dark haired
adventurer from England is hard for anyone to
give up!! (Legolas)

Which Lord of the Rings actor is your best match?
brought to you by Quizilla

You like Merry. He's slightly more intelligent than
the other hobbits, and looks good tied up.
You'd better have a good supply of apples and
carrots around for this hungry hobbit lad.

Who is your dream LotR guy?
brought to you by Quizilla

You are an elf and thus should get married to the
Prince of Mirkwood, Legolas!! you lucky girl!!!

Which LOTR Bride are you and Who Should your Groom Be???
brought to you by Quizilla

2005-12-19T00:19:00.000+08:00

Think i'm going crazy from lack of sleep. Got home only at 6am this morning after a night of clubbing at Ministry of Sound. Slept for 4 hours starting from 830am and woke up only at 1230pm. Well, one night at MoS. Not very long but enough to get me thinking about things. Reached MoS at around 1030pm. Queued for 1.5 hours and finally got in at 12mn. During this 1.5 hours wait, smurf was talking to joyce and lenny. Hx and cass were talking to each other, deb deb was with her NUS friends and the rest of the guys were somewhere out there. So, what was i doing? I was looking like an absolute loner. I stood in the queue, messaging wz and stoning. To some, yishan was just stoning cos she was irritated with having to be in the queue for so long. For those who were more observant, yishan was feeling absolutely left out. I dunno if anyone noticed but my few closest friends sure didn't. Yeah, i'm positively hurt that they didn't notice a thing at all and i won't bother to hide it.
It's been going on for so long i don't even know why i didn't mention it before. When the two of them laugh at me for something, when they tease me about something and mention things like how i have failed to remember their food preferences or their work schedule, i know that they mean no harm. They were just having a bit of plain old fun "suaning". But, they had no idea what those comments meant to me. They try their very best to be nice to me, to protect me from harm and lousy guys, take care of me feelings and make sure that they always make time for their dear fren, me. I'm not blaming them. They are really not at fault. They have been really really good friends but then, i can tell that i'm just not as impt as the other one is to them. Okok... fine. I think i'm not speaking sense. Let me explain. A thinks of B as her closest friend and Yishan as the next closest friend. The same goes for B. Yishan is always in second place. And i'm sick and tired of that. Why am i always second best? It's like i'll never be among the worst. This i know. I always wanna be excellent in whatever i do. But although i'm never the worst, i'm never the best either. It's always like "yishan is one of the better ones."
Can't i just be the best for once?
_____________________________________________________________________________________
Anyway, MoS wasn't too bad. Although i was thinking a lot, waiting for 1.5 hours before i got in and the place had bad music, i had fun. I was pretty wild. Didn't break my promise not to go beyond 5 drinks though.
Well, i received some attention from some angmohs over there and i was happy. Yeah, Lenny was correct in saying that i enjoyed the attention. I didn't mind them dancing so close to me, grabbing my hand to get me to help his friend pull his collar nicely or them breaking through the "wall" the guys had built around us to start dancing beside me. In fact, i was happy. Yup, i'm an attention seeking girl, and i don't really care even if the attention is not for the correct reason.
When i just rebonded my hair, a friend said that i made the correct decision. She thought i looked better. Well, i like it too. But it's still not enough. I wanna look stunning. I wanna make guys turn their heads and look at me. I wanna be envied. I want attention. No worries, i know this is unhealthy. I don't seem like i'm in the correct state of mind. But well, that's what happens when u want revenge. You don't think straight. It's almost been a year now. Nope, i have not given up on the idea of revenge. Forget about telling me to let it go. I won't. Why should i be hurt and then keep quiet about it? I want to look better than i was a year ago. Be more confident than i was a year ago. Be more happy than i was a year ago. AND, i wanna show it all to him. I wanna make him regret ever having hurt me. I wanna make him realise that my life has gone on, WITHOUT him. I wanna let him know that i'm now MUCH happier than i ever was when i was with him. and i don't think there's anything wrong with it. Yishan is simply not a girl who will let herself be bullied and let the fella get away with it.

2005-12-14T22:07:00.000+08:00

Had a really lousy day. Won't bother hiding it. I'm pissed off and i'm gonna BITCH abt it.

Went to work really early this morn. Wanted to wakey at 7am but my mum woke me up at 645am. Can't i just sleep like another 15 minutes? Spare me larhs... I was planning to wakey at 7 then leave the house at 730 then reach admiralty mrt at 745, just in time to grab a nice coffee before i start work. I ended up having a lousy cup of tea at the coffeeshop near my house. Haiz... Not that having breakfast with my parents ruined my day larhs... I was pretty happy, haven't had breakfast with them in ages. But why did the coffeeshop have to serve lousy tea? The start of my day ruined liaos larhs...

After that, i got to work. My oh my... the people there were bad. I'm not saying like they are evil people who are scheming. It's just that they don't really take the initiative to help out. Furthermore, they are pretty new to the job so haiz... my mum and i had to play supermummy and superdotter. So guess how work was like? Well, for those of you who have heard me complain orientation run 3, it's pretty much about the same. But luckily, the people were slightly more cooperative.

After work, i got home hoping for a good dinner. In the end, cos my whole family was so tired (my mummy n i cos of work, my sis cos of a camp, my daddy cos of not being able to sleep yest nite), my daddy went out to ta pao dinner. He din buy what i wanted to eat!!! Fine, i can understand why he decided to buy a pack of fried rice for me to share with my sis (cos she was still sleeping -- not very wise to get noodles yeah?by the time she wakeys, the noodles will be erm... ), BUT it still doesn't stop me from being upset about it yeah?

And so... that was a really short summary about my lousy day. Anyway, i've kinda noticed recently that my life seems to revolve around only me. I'm a pretty self centered person i've realised. I dunno why i suddenly thought of that. I'm not very good at putting down my deep deep thoughts into words. I just suddenly realise i'm not very thoughtful towards others. Guess it's cos of how frequently i've been using the following phrase. "I can understand why he's doing that BUT it doesn't stop me from getting upset right?" For those of you who know what/who i'm talking about, good for you. For those who dunno, nvm nvm.

2005-12-10T22:47:00.000+08:00

Got myself a nice new skin for x'mas. Went on to blogskins to search for some pretty ones and it took me like 3 hours to juzt find smthg as simple as this. Haiz... it's either i'm old-fashioned, the ppl who create skins dunno that x'mas means red and green, too few people care about x'mas or i'm way too picky for my own good. I had to sieve through all the nonsense. Oh gosh~

Anyway, went out with 61 and the section 6 facis yesterday. Had so much fun. Hhahah... i haven't had such fun in quite a long time. Guess it kinda helps. Especially when your brain starts to think too much for its own good again.

Settlers' Cafe with 61
We played a couple of games. I totally went crazy. Hahhaha... especially at Niagara Falls when i sabotaged everyone by changing the weather. But, i still didn't win!! Jia Wen was the ultimate. All of them were either guarding against Lacy or I but in the end, Jia Wen got 7 gems first. Not Fair!!! I wanna play again!!! Hhahah... i was so proud that i got my PINK gem.
After that, i insisted that we've had enough of logical thinking plus scheming games. Got ryan to get us a crazy game. And my oh my... was it crazy or what. It's called PIT and it's just like a crazier version of heart attack. Instead of just passing one card, you can pass multiple cards and over to any player at the table. Can u imagine the amount of shouting? Hhahah...
Anyway, i wanna go back there someday. I wanna win at Niagara Falls and the funny game that made us build bridges. And yeah!!! I also wanna hit ryan's hand. Hhahah...

Brewerkz and TCC with section 6 facis
2nd trip to Brewerkz in the same week. Was able to recommend the other facis what to eat. In fact, i was so familiar with the menu that they thought i used to work there. Hhahahah... so funny. Anyway, cos i ate smthg at Settlers' Cafe before i went over to Brewerkz, i wasn't hungry at all. Wasted. I wanted to eat sausages and mash and of cos, drink my golden ale. Hhahah... too bad. They will just hafta wait.
Went to TCC after our dinner. Hhahah... my second coffee of that day. And it was once again, with Jia Wen. Saw some Mediacorp actor when i went to the washroom with Jia Wen and Jo-Ann. Can't remember his name though. And oh my, his eyes were super mega huge. Like they were from some japanese manga. Hhahahah... i have never seen a guy with such huge eyes. (Sharon, jealous?) Hhahah... Anyway, Jia Wen and i tried some very cute drink. Butter Rum n Raisin Mocha... hahaha... it was good. I suggest you guys try it some day. =)

Oh well, had such fun that day. Did quite a bit for marketing for Waikiki as well. Felt as if my self worth was back for a while. Hope the rest of hols will be good as well. Okok.. Yeesh has always known that she's of some value. But people smtimes wonder right? Time to start to read some meaningful stuff to help me found my way in life. =P Well, i've been thinking a lot about my self worth. So that day when i eventually could see the direction that marketing should head, i was happy. Furthermore, i was happy to be able to do something for Waikiki. I was happy to know that at the next meeting, if i get shot at, i will be able to handle it.

Being Loved? To Love?

2005-12-07T01:46:00.000+08:00

Is being loved the same as loving someone?
NOPE.
They are on opposite ends of the spectrum. Answered this a year ago. Shall answer it again.
When u love someone, every single little teeny weeny thing he does affects you and your mood. He need not do anything very special because there is no need to. He is already special enough. You would go thru loads for him. Why? Well, sometimes cos he wants you to. Other times? Cos u THINK he MIGHT want you to change. You would do anything.
And when someone loves you? Well, sometimes it can get irritating. Things he does, as much as they may seem like the sweetest things on earth, have absolutely no effect on you. Change for him? Bah... Forget it.
Hope that was good enough answer my dearie.
A year ago, someone asked. Would u rather love or be loved? I answered: To Love.
A year later, i've been through a lot. Been hurt. But my answer remains the same. To Love.
Yeah... Yeesh's pretty stubborn. Call her anal if you want to. That's just the way she is. Rather to have loved and hurt than to not have loved at all.

2005-12-05T01:06:00.000+08:00

现在是凌晨1.07分。有一点累了可是头一碰到我的枕头我就突然非常清醒。

刚才抱着我的玩具熊时突然有很多感触。

我抱着它时，它感觉得到吗？如果它感觉得到，那它为什么没有回应,为什么从来不回抱我呢？为什么其他人是这样，它也是这样呢？

如果它感觉不到，那我为什么还一直抱着它不放呢？为什么只有我在付出？为什么不放弃呢？爱得如此得累，那又何必？

我真的不明白感情是怎么样的一回事。就好像我和我的的玩具熊吗？它从来没有离开我的身边，但它也从来没主动给过我一个拥抱。我也差不了多少，有许多许多的爱可以给别人，却从来都没分一点给它。

靠！我真的好傻。连抱着一个陪了我两年的玩具熊都有这么多的感触。

I used to be a pure romantic~ why the change?

2005-12-04T22:29:00.000+08:00

You are a Romantic Realist

Okay, so you fall in the middle.

You know that love isn't like a greeting card

Yet you can always find a greeting card to describe your feelings.

You are the best of both worlds

Girly yet independent, dreamy yet serious.

Almost any guy can find balance with you.

Are You Romantic or Realistic? Take This Quiz :-)

Find the Love of Your Life
(and More Love Quizzes) at Your New Romance.

Yeah... Yishan's so bored she's doing quizzes on quizilla

2005-12-03T22:06:00.000+08:00

Protector

The ULTIMATE personality test
brought to you by Quizilla

Your lip gloss flavor is Chocolate!
You enjoy the finer things in life, and you always
look your best. You're really romantic, and you
just can't wait for that special someone to
sweep you off your feet. You're a real fun
person to be with, but sometimes your
daydreaming can annoy people.

What flavor of lip gloss are you? (Girls only obviously.)
brought to you by Quizilla

yucks. I've never tried chocolate lipgloss before. And yeah... i noe. I dream too much.

Nine - Dianne Reeves

2005-12-02T16:37:00.000+08:00

I remember nine
As if it were yesterday
I can hear my friends outside of my window
Say, "Can you come out and play?"
Anna brought a bag of her mama's cooking spoons
So we could dig a big hole, to try to reach China
And get there by early noon

Our imaginations soared on golden wings
Across a sky filled with dreams
Any child could wear a paper crown
And be a king or queen at nine

I remember days of playing without a care
Then coming home with sniffles and clothes hanging off me
With leaves in my hair
Everybody's child belonged to the neighborhood
You could tell your troubles to old Aunt Savannah
Cause she always understood

Running endless through a field
Of emerald green beneath a broad
Open sky
I will treasure all my days when
I was innocent and free at nine

Runnin' and jumpin' and skippin' and laughin'
Rollin' and shakin' and jokin' and hidin'
Mother may I, Simon says, you're it, you spit
Hide and seek, you peeked, no I didn't, yes you did
You're not fair, I don't care, I saw Sammy's underwear
Double dutch, kick ball, hop scotch, bobby socks
Mary Mack all dressed in black
Who is that? Can she play jacks?
I'm the doctor, you're the nurse
Whatchu' mean, I was first
Shovin' and pushin'
cryin' and screamin'
Dreamin' and beamin' and dancin' in a line
You show me yours, I'll show you mine
Ah uh I'm going home it's dinner time…nine

Sharon babe, remember this song? Hhahhaha... As i sat there supposedly studying QM, my mind couldn't help drifting. Oh... how i totally regret not having being a bit more hardworking and queue for Dianne Reeves' CD! Now, i really wanna listen to this song but can't cos i haven't been able find a copy of her CD.
Miss this song most out of all the songs i heard that night at the concert cos i've always wished that i will never grow up. I wanna remain a little girl who can sit in front of the tv for hours watching sesame street. I wanna listen to Elmo and Ernie sing. I wanna see Ernie irritate Bernie (his name is Bert i noe... but Bernie sounds nicer) with his songs and endless questions. Hahahha... How silly. And to think i used to get oh-so-irritated by Ernie. Sometimes i wished he would juzt keep quiet. Ask so many senseless questions!!! Now, i wanna be like him. I don't wanna be sensible. I wanna be silly. I don't wanna know that i have to study my QM. -bleahs-
Anyway, if anyone is thinking of getting me a christmas pressie, i want Dianne Reeves' CD!!!

2005-12-02T14:45:00.000+08:00

令人讨厌的闹钟在大约7点钟响起了。
从我一睁开眼睛，我就在期盼听见手机铃声。
终于，手机响了。。。
可是。。。
在另一端的人却说着我不想听的话。
在这种情形下，我应该如何反应呢？

我强颜欢笑，
装着什么事都没有发生。
然后又如行尸走肉般的回到自己的书桌开始埋头苦干。。。

加油吧！其他事还是迟一点再想吧。。。不想也行。

I wanted to be Funshine Bear!!!

2005-12-01T09:57:00.000+08:00

	Tenderheart Bear You are thinker, organizer, peacekeeper, and leader all in one. You have a power to command attention and people listen to you. However, you are often so concerned about not hurting others' feelings that you don't tell them what they need to hear and this gets you both into trouble. But you always have loyal friends to help you out.
*Take the Which Care Bear Are You?* Quiz!**

Darling WeN, i think you should do this quiz for obvious reasons. Hhahaha... Anyway, just for those people without a childhood or don't watch carebears, Funshine bear is the yellowish orange one. The one with the sun on his belly. =)

2005-12-01T01:42:00.000+08:00

Ahhh... what great enjoyment.
To be drinking a nice cup of earl gray and listening to nice music on Gold 90.5. =)
It'll be better if i didn't have a stack of twc readings beside me. -frowns-

(Fine. I live in the 80s and i have auntie taste k?)

She KNOWS it's not her fault...

2005-11-30T22:36:00.000+08:00

Was just reading a friend's entry. If the girl has already put her very best for the relationship and it still doesn't work out, according to her, the girl should not blame herself. Yeah, honey, i agree. The girl should not blame herself.
But sometimes, she KNOWS its not her fault. She doesn't blame herself. She just can't help it but still be depressed. She hasn't been rewarded for her efforts, the efforts she put into trying to develop the rs. She has also lost the trust she used to have in men and because of this, every single day is a constant struggle for her. To trust once again and risk getting hurt? Or to not trust and never get the happiness she so badly wants? And it seriously doesn't help when most of the guys can't understand why women continue to mope so much after the rs.
Yeah... women constantly seek approval from men. They get their confidence from the men. The more guys turning their heads, giving her their attention, the more confident the girl gets. I guess it's an age old thing. I myself can't answer why they do that. Sometimes, i think it's just the way women were brought up.
I'll elaborate more when i can organise my thoughts. I'm a little shaken by the entry. Reminds me of what i used to be like. Now, i truly know it's not my fault. He was the jerk. BUT, my confidence is still not back. I still seek for another guy, for another person's approval, for a person who will truly love me. Why do women find it so hard to break out of trying to please men? Why do I find it so hard as well?

Yeah... i'm bitching abt men. So what?

2005-11-30T00:29:00.000+08:00

Have you ever been in a situation where some woman will ask you something and you have to answer the exact opposite of what's on your mind? Well of course you have - but they don't know. They have no idea what's going through our heads - the brutal and horrible truth.

Yes, you do look fat in that dress
That's right, those shoes do not match the skirt in the least (that means that i need new shoes. And i wonder who's the one complaining when we are shopping)
Yes, plastic surgery may be the way to go (yeah... maybe. I think you need it as well.)
You're so skinny, even the Ethopians would be ashamed
Yes, you are a slut (and you, a bastard)
Nope, I don't think it's my fault - it's yours (Cos you have a thick skull and can't put down your male ego. If it's really our fault, just wait can? We will EVENTUALLY apologise)
The reason why you are always depressed is because you're crazy (Sometimes i do wish guys get pms as well. They have no clue the hell we go through every month. Crazy? As if they are very sane)
You complain so much they might want to start a new olympic category for it
Yes, sometimes I do wish you had bigger tits. (and i wish you a better bod)
Yeah you should buy that pair of shoes. It compensates for your ugly soul. (Yeah... go ahead. Buy that digicam. We only have 4 at home anyway)
No, I do not want to enter the lingerie section. (Then stay out. And don't u ever dare say that our bras are just not sexy enuff. You don't care much about what we wear under our clothes right?)
I'm sorry, I was never able to read your mind from the start. (Not expecting you to. Only expect you to at least TRY)
I don't hate your friends, I detest them. (As if i like urs)
I need to be friends with your gay male friend like I need nose cancer. (I hope you get nose cancer then. Guys, what's with males and homophobia?)
I'm watching football, therefore I'm not inclined to talk about issues. (sure, football's cool. Go screw the football then. Stay away from us)
I really don't care if the toilet seat is up or down. Really. ( i don't care either. But then, there are just some rules you have to observe at home.)
Yes, those are wrinkles and eyebags. (Similar to those i see on you. Nope, i don't think wrinkles make a man look more attractive)

Taken from Cowboy Caleb's blog. (words in italics are responses from Your Royal Highness, Yeesh)

Oh well, if you guys would only understand that women were taught since young to take on the expressive role. (Go take sociology if u dunno that) They are supposed to be like that. So if you guys can't stand it, go and be GAY. I'm pretty sure that there are plenty of gays out there who will be willing to entertain you. And oh well, if women ain't like that, are they still women? They would be what you guys like to term as butch right? You guys don't really like butches do ya? So well, you guys ASKED FOR IT. You all wanted women to be feminine right? Being feminine means that these are questions that we will ask so just go one tiny corner, suck thumb and bear with it k? If you refuse to, then oh well, go fuck a guy instead. I'm quite certain there are plenty of desperate gays in some gay bar waiting for you.

Oh yeah... Yishan just said fuck... some word she's not supposed to be using. But oh well, she's in a foul mood so she doesn't give a damn about it. Zhnging mission? To hell with it. Why is she so pissed? Cos some donkey pissed her off. Yeah... pissed her off in the midst of exams week. Don't ask which donkey, that donkey himself can't tell she's pissed with him. Yishan don't think he will never know. Why? Cos he's a donkey and donkeys ain't very smart.

BEAST!!!!

2005-11-29T23:56:00.000+08:00

Your inner beast is a Lion. Your fierce side is
shown gracefully.

~The Good~ You're Noble, Gracious, Knowledgeable,
etc...

~The Bad~ You are sometimes Controlling, Aloof,
Condescending, etc...

~People On Your Good Side~ Bask in a feeling of
protection and privilege.

~People On Your Bad Side~ Receive the cold shoulder
and perhaps a casual insult from time to time.

Your Inner Beast
brought to you by Quizilla

I would have thought it would be a DONKEY. Right my dearie fiona? Anyway, occasional casual insult? Maybe i should change that. One of my fav Kurt Hasley drawings - I should stay mad at you longer. I agree. I should stay staying mad at people longer. People all think Yishan just jokes around right? Just wait till i blow. You'll know exactly why i'm a lion then.

finished

2005-11-29T16:35:00.000+08:00

yeah... i'm almost finished. 50% finished, 50% more to go. And when i said finished, i mean finished finished. You all get what i mean rite?
Finance was not as good as i thought it would be. Ok. Fine. Finance was terrible. Prof gave us a question that i have never ever ever seen before. Not even in the past year papers. And to make things worse, yvonne just told me today that the risk free rate i used was totally wrong!!! That's 15% gone and i expect another 15% gone from my mcqs as well. Haizz...
Sociology was ok. Much better than the mid term paper but there were still questions i didn't know how to answer. I just hope that my mcqs and fill in the blanks are good enough to pull up my grade. Having done so badly for mid terms, having an easy paper and still not knowing how to do some of the questions is like the last thing i need. I really need the final paper to pull up my grade!!! I don't wanna get a lousy grade for this. I need to keep my Cum Laude. Fine, Cum Laude is not exactly very impressive but i'm HAPPY as long as i don't fall out of it cos of this sem's results.
TWC's not looking very good. I haven't even started studying for it. Just printed my readings. Ok... gtg study. Wish me all the best. Pray for me k?

Stolen. =P

2005-11-28T23:33:00.000+08:00

I WANT THE LOVE ;
not long ago, we were the lovers
the ones, unbreakable
you left me
in deep misery, all alone to face this
i saw you with the other girl
on the street, passionate
you betrayed me for all I care
i want my love back
negative skies, closing eyes
i left.. a note in tragedy

Saw this when a friend was showing me the skins she wanted to use for her brand new blog. Dang(cos i can't use dam*)~~~, i'm into sad stuff ain't i?

Jill, this is why i'm in deeper shit than you are

2005-11-27T22:36:00.000+08:00

My Zhnging Mission

2005-11-26T14:31:00.000+08:00

It happened one summer
It happened one time
It happened forever
For a short time
A place for a moment
An end to dream
Forever I loved you
Forever it seemed

One summer never ends
One summer never began
It keeps me standing still
It takes all my will
And then suddenly
Last summer

Sometimes I never leave
But sometimes I would
Sometimes I stay too long
Sometimes I would
Sometimes it frightens me
Sometimes it would
Sometimes I'm all alone
And wish that I could

One summer never ends
One summer never begins
It keeps me standing still
It takes all my will
And then suddenly
Last summer
And then suddenly
Last summer

[Instrumental Interlude]

One summer never ends
One summer never begins
It keeps me standing still
It takes all my will
And then suddenly
Last summer
And then suddenly
Last summer
Until suddenly
Last Summer

And then suddenly
Last summer
Until suddenly
Last Summer

Heard it on Gold 90.5 just as i was finishing up chapter 17 of my finance. Had no idea why but found the song very nice. Caught my attention. =)
ok. Fine. I'm listening to oldies and yeah... i live in the 80s. -bleahz-

Anyway, went for my little cuzzie's performance today. Had a really good laugh. It's even better than Russell Peters k? Can u imagine seeing all those little kids dancing to "yellow polka dot bikini" and "对面的女孩看过来"? Hhahah... it was hilarious. I laughed so hard that tears came into my eyes. They are absolutely adorable!!!

Okok... this entry is not supposed to be about these. It was supposed to update my dear about my zhnging mission. Hahhah... my dear finished her exams just yesterday and mine? The nightmare hasn't even begun~ Ok dear, here's my zhnging mission.

I aim to
1) Rebond my hair (tho my aunt has advised me not to)
2) Cut and color my hair (still decding on color)
3) Go to a dermatologist to get my skin fixed
4) Lose weight
5) Go shopping for clothes that are more girl girl
6) Buy a new bag

these are just the parts that require money. Hhahha... now for the parts that don't.

7) Stop cursing (words like dam*, fu**, frea*** he*l shall be erased from my vocabulary)
8) Cut down on clubbing
9) Drink less (less than 5 drinks at any one trip to the pub/club)
10) Cut down on the amount of Singlish i use (it's becoming a bad influence to my little cuzzie)

Hhahah... can tell that i aim to become a lady eh? I'm not sure if i will succeed but then erm... let's just try k? And oh... another nice song on Gold 90.5. -Almost Paradise -- From the movie Footloose-

Thank You Lord

2005-11-26T00:02:00.000+08:00

Thank you, Lord,
for the trials that come my way.
In that way I can grow each day
as I let you lead,
And thank you, Lord,
for the patience those trials bring.
In that process of growing,
I can learn to care.

But it goes against the way
I am to put my human nature down
and let the Spirit take control of all I do.

'Cause when those trials come,
my human nature shouts the thing to do;
and God's soft prompting
can be easily ignored.

I thank you, Lord,
with each trial I feel inside,
that you're there to help,
lead and guide me away from wrong.
'Cause you promised, Lord,
that with every testing,
that your way of escaping is easier to bear.

But it goes against the way
I am to put my human nature down
and let the Spirit take control of all I do.

'Cause when those trials come,
my human nature shouts the thing to do;
and God's soft prompting
can be easily ignored.

I thank you, Lord,
for the victory that growing brings.
In surrender of everything
life is so worth while.
And I thank you, Lord,
that when everything's put in place,
out in front I can see your face,
and it's there you belong.

Been singing this hymn since secondary 2. Absolutely love it. One of the most unforgettable hymns. And yeah... till now, i'm still learning how to thank Him for the things/people/trials/lessons/challenges he places in my life. I still don't think i am able to accept things as they are. I'm still defiant. Still refusing to go the way He wants me to. Can someone please teach me how to place my life in His hands without worrying? I know i should trust Him. But how? It doesn't come just like that *snap fingers* , you know? Sometimes, life depends on the individual. So when does it depend on Him? And when on me? How should i decide?

21 november 2005 - Nightmare starts all over again

2005-11-21T23:12:00.000+08:00

This was supposed to be in a word doc and saved in a folder called "offline blog" but since i had to come online and send someone my proposal, might as well just post it. So... here goes:

I hate this. Haven't I already been through this once? Why am I going through it again? I know that I shouldn't even bother to contact him. I know that he can never give me the kinda love I want. The only thing he can give me is a heart break. Yet, now when I'm feeling crappish, I wanna msg him. I know he won't reply. Even if he does, that’s cos he wants to win me back. Get me back to be his back up again. And so why do I even entertain the thought?

It's like a nightmare repeating itself. Less than a year ago, I was also in this position. Sitting at my desk, crying and writing a blog entry cos I seriously can't get down to doing what I want to do. I should be studying now. But I really can't do it. I don't even think I can go to sleep today without crying myself tired. I feel sick of feeling like this.

I feel sick of feeling like I need someone to support me. I feel sick about dragging my feet home then losing my temper at my siblings or my parents. It ain't even their fault that I’m in a bad mood. I feel sick about sitting in front of my lappy crying for some reason I don’t even know.

I have no clue who I'm crying for. For him, the one who said he will be there for me but is the one making me cry. Or for him, the one who promises to call me but didn't and didn’t care to explain. Or am I just crying cos I want someone near me now but there is absolutely no one? I'm very tired. I thought I moved out of this stupid inferiority complex already. But look! Am I really over it?

2005-11-21T00:13:00.000+08:00

i would love to hate him. A year has passed, and now he comes and tells me that he actually missed me. Please... can we just not start? My heart can't take another heart break.
If you don't mean it, don't say it. Even if you do mean it, i've decided to move on, so... just keep it to yourself k? I don't wanna be reminded of the past anymore. I would rather stay lonely, sad, depressed and helpless than to have a short period of happiness only to go through hell later on. (really?) I would rather cry now cos i don't have anyone around to support me than to cry everynight later on cos you decided to be a jerk again. I would rather not have anyone to message when i'm in a bad mood than to message you only to receive no reply. I would also rather hug my purple hippo to bed than to hug you and know that your heart is not with me.
I've decided to move on. I know that i need to move on. So please just don't come back into my life k? As much as my love life now is quite blank, it's definitely much better than when you were around. So... comments like you regret having thrown certain things and people aside, you missing spending time with me and you always ready to be there for me should be kept to you yourself. Don't tell me all that. I don't want to know and i don't need to know. Once is enough...

Sure not???

2005-11-20T22:39:00.000+08:00

Magic - Obscure

You are dark and
mysterious and seem quite dangerous to others
who do not know you... You have the power to
create, change and destroy... You are powerful,
strong willed and intelligent... You always
have a plan

Animagi form:
Unicorn
Most compatible with:
Elecricity
Least compatible
with: Fire
Song: Nemo
- Nightwish
Ruling Goddess:
Athena

Are you an Obscure or Dominant Element?? {Great pics}
brought to you by Quizilla

Found the quiz from jiawen's blog. I always have a plan? How come i dunno my plan now? I have 4 exams coming up and i'm freaking out. And till now, me still have no plan as to how i can start studying without getting disrupted by projects and reports and perhaps, a very interesting marketing budget. Can they please all just go away? i'm DESPERATE!!!!

One Down... Quite a few more to go

2005-11-18T18:59:00.000+08:00

Ok... the Waikiki meeting is over. Our theme got accepted!!! Thanks to Jiawen's idea of pirates. Wen, I lurve ya~~~ And to think i actually doubted the idea in the first place. That's one thing settled and a few more to do. Ok... maybe not a FEW, maybe ALOT. But still, i'm happy that at least this is settled.
Well, now it's time to list down what i have to do. I know it's stupid to be listing it on my blog but i don't check my notebooks, my post its etc. So here it goes...

1) Study for QM quiz!!!
2) Prepare answers on interview questions
3) Sociology Report --> Additional research
4) Get quotations for printing Waikiki shirts
5) Help Jiawen get quotation for sculpture
6) Study for my exams!!! --> SUPER IMPORTANT!!! but then i can only start on this last cos the rest are all due before the weekend ends!

Haiz... now after listing down all that i have to do, i suddenly realised that maybe i don't really have THAT many things to clear. But just now during the meeting, it seemed like marketing has to do so many things. And %$#^%$#^%#$&%@#, my marketing head wasn't there larh... And she didn't even say why. How come i didn't ask? Haiz... whatevers la... I think i can become the marketing head already. Good experience i agree but i think that's like the last thing i want now. Right now, all that i really wanna do is stay home/school and study till i turn silly. Haiz...

Another Quiz

2005-11-18T18:58:00.000+08:00

You're beautiful in so many different ways, but
your problem is that you don't realize it.
You're constantly putting yourself down and
don't really even listen to others when they
insistenly point out your good characteristics
to you. Listen to them next time, learn
something about yourself!

What Makes You Beautiful?
brought to you by Quizilla

2005-11-17T23:52:00.000+08:00

The quickest way to break your heart
Make you depressed and ill
Is to get tangled up inside
The side effects could kill

All passion is a waste of time
A deadly game pour vous
I am your friend, your cher ami
I wouldn't lie to you

If you must love someone, may I suggest
You love yourself! Just think it through
You'll never leave and you will find
You'll get more rest
You'll always feel as good as new
Your freedom is the most
Important thing, my friend
You must be strong, you mustn't bend
Don't talk for hours
Don't send flowers
Don't write poems
Don't sing songs and dance
Beneath the stars
That shine above
Don't fall in love

[Oh don't do it!]

As soon as your heart rules your head
Your life is not your own
It's hell when someone's always there
It's bliss to be alone
And love of any kind is bad
A dog, a child, a cat
They take up so much precious time
Now where's the sense in that?

Love takes the wildest heart and makes it tame
If you're turned on, then just turn off
Emotions are a thing all great men overcame
Please, don't make this grand catastrophe
Don't get attached to anyone or anything
There's nothing worse than things that cling
You'll go to pot
You'll turn to drink
You'll never rest
You'll end up mad and
Looking like some
Poor demented dove
Don't fall in love
Don't fall in love.

Hahha.... what sense? If love made sense, it wouldn't be called love. No way man... no way. And how cute. If love was so lethal? Why are there so many of us who are rushing to find the love of our lives? I'm pretty sure that there's more than one person who agrees.

2005-11-17T17:03:00.000+08:00

Who's got her priorities wrong? Don't even start. All i did was to skip a class to go for CIP. I told the prof, i'm having a make up lesson and i don't see what's the issue. What's your freaking problem?
Yeah... i did tell you off when you went off half way through finance class. Yeah... it was just a lesson for presentations. But YOU WENT TO QUEUE FOR HARRY POTTER TICKETS!!! Wtf... What makes u think that what i did yesterday is something that's of the same magnitude as yours? I personally feel that mine has more meaning to it than yours. What gives you the right to feel unhappy? I had every single reason to tell you you got your priorities wrong. At least i'm not the one with a GPA of 2.smthg and giving a damn about it. I'm not the one who skipped class to queue for Harry Potter!!! And of cos, i'm also not the one who handed in his part for finance a week late.
So who's gotten his priorities wrong? I'm pretty sure i'm not the one. As much as i'm not doing very well for my modules this sem, at least i dun go out of class in the middle to do something stupid. So shut up already. Enough nonsense from you.

2005-11-16T22:59:00.001+08:00

有一天我在想我到底算是个什么东西
还是我会不会根本就不算东西
天天都漫无目的偏偏又想要证明真理
别人从屁股放屁我却每天每天都说要革命

就算是整个世界把我抛弃
而至少快乐伤心我自己决定
所以我说就让他去我知道潮落之后一定有潮起
有什么了不起

常常我豁出去拚了命走过却没有痕迹
可是我从不怕挖出我火热的心
手上有一个硬币反面就决定放弃嗝屁
但是啊在我心底却完完全全不想放弃

常常我闭上眼睛听到了海的呼吸是你
温柔的蓝色潮汐告诉我没有关系
就算真的整个世界把我抛弃
而至少快乐伤心我自己决定
所以我说就让他去我知道潮落之后一定有潮起
我不能忘记无论是我的明天要去哪里
而至少快乐伤心我自己决定所以我说就让他去
我知道潮落之后一定有潮起有什么了不起
啦啦啦啦啦啦
明天我在哪里

hmm... 歌词怎么如此贴心？好想拿起一个硬币。如果是反面我就放弃好吗?　以这种方式决定我的人生好吗？

我真的好想如此。

真的好简单喔。随便拿起一个硬币，手指一弹，重大的决定这样就搞定了，不需要想太多。

但如果真的拿到了反面，我真的有办法放弃吗？我现在还不是在傻傻的等待，等待他的简讯？前天不就已经说过放弃，别管了吗？现在怎么还在想这个简讯会出现吗？

我相信应该不会。但是我还是的没法子让自己彻底的死心。该怎么办？

上帝，你能不能给我一双翅膀？让我逃离这个世界。我真的已经没有勇气面对未来的挑战了。我真的累了。

Born to Lose

2005-11-16T01:12:00.000+08:00

Day after day
Time passed away
And I just can't get you off my mind
Nobody knows, I hide it inside
I keep on searching but I can't find
The courage to show to letting you know
I've never felt so much love before
And once again I'm thinking about
Taking the easy way out  But if I let you go I will never know
What my life would be holding you close to me
Will I ever see you smiling back at me?
How will I know
If I let you go?
   Night after night I hear myself say
Why can't this feeling just fade away
There's no one like you
You speak to my heart
It's such a shame
we're worlds apart
I'm too shy to ask, I'm too proud to lose
But sooner or later I gotta choose

  
Yeah... i know i've gotta try. But what if i'm scared to go on? I really dunno what will happen if i continue. Moo said: "If that's what you really want, go for it. Don't ever give up." How not to give up? Especially since i'm 
  

 Born to Lose - LeAnn Rimes
 Born to lose, I've lived my life in vain
Every dream I dreamed has only brought me pain
All my life, I've always been so blue
Born to lose, and now I'm losing you.

Born to lose, it seems so hard to bear
How I long to always have you near
You've grown tired, and now you say we're through
Born to lose, and now I'm losing you.

Born to lose, I've lived my life in vain
Every dream I dreamed has only brought me pain
All my life, I've always been so blue
Born to lose, and now I'm losing you
Born to lose, and now I'm losing you.  
Isn't that just so true? Everything i have gone for will be with everyone else and everywhere else except with me.

2005-11-09T17:06:00.000+08:00

Bureaucracy can be really irritating at times. It has definitely pissed me off more than once. Especially the people in these bureacratic organizations. They are damn freaking horrible. They are so inflexible!!! Freaking stupid can?
I just received an email telling me to pay my school fees for this term. Yeah...I know its way overdue. I knew that my mummy's CPF account didn't have enough. It's not like i didn't wanna pay. The thing is they didn't send me a receipt~ Last year, they did. So i was expecting them to do the same this term. So, i kept telling my daddy to wait. Pass me the cheque later... I mean, i don't want my cheque to go missing or my fees to appear as if they have not been paid. So i waited... now they send me the email and THEY SLAPPED A TEN DOLLAR LATE PENALTY ON ME!!! wtf is that? I mean it seriously is not my fault u noe? Not like i mind the extra ten bucks... Afterall, it's my parents' money and they seriously don't mind the ten bucks. But why slap the fine on me when it's their freaking fault??? I understand that they wanna get things done but is this the only way to do it? Haiz... Bureaucracy... Whatever. The people are so used to working in one way that they dunno how to work in any other way...

p.s: ryan, if u are reading this, u will b doing something abt breaucracy next sem under sheen

Why PURPLE???

2005-11-09T16:30:00.000+08:00

Your Blog Should Be Purple

You're an expressive, offbeat blogger who tends to write about anything and everything.
You tend to set blogging trends, and you're the most likely to write your own meme or survey.
You are a bit distant though. Your blog is all about you - not what anyone else has to say.

What Color Should Your Blog or Journal Be?

Chances Are - Vonda Shepard and Robert Downey Jr.

2005-11-09T11:22:00.000+08:00

Chances are you'll find me
Somewhere on your road tonight
Seems I always end up driving by
Ever since I've known you
It just seems you're on my way
All the rules of logic don't apply

I long to see you in the night
Be with you 'til morning light

I remember clearly how you looked
The night we met
I recall your laughter and your smile
I remember how you made me
Feel so at ease
I remember all your grace, your style

And now you're all I long to see
You've come to mean so much to me

Chances are I'll see you
Somewhere in my dreams tonight
You'll be smiling like the night we met
Chances are I'll hold you and I'll offer
All I have

You're the only one I can't forget
Baby you're the best, I've ever met

And I'll be dreaming of the future
And hoping you'll be by my side
And in the morning I'll be longing
For the night, for the night

Chances are I'll see you
Somewhere in my dreams tonight
You'll be smiling like the night we met
Chances are I'll hold you and I'll offer
All I have

You're the only one I can't forget
Baby you're the best I've ever met

My newest fav song by Vonda Shepard. Hhahah... it seems that i will always be in love with at least one Vonda Shepard song. Dun read too much into the lyrics... I just like the tune and the voices of Robert Downey Jr. and Vonda Shepard. =) Will try to find a clip of the song and post it soon. hahha... I know how music on blogs can be irritating. Don't worry. I will remove it after one week.

Alone Again, Naturally - Vonda Shepard

2005-11-09T00:09:00.000+08:00

To think that only yesterday
I was cheerful, bright and gay
Looking forward to who wouldn't do
The role I was about to play
But as if to knock me down, reality came around
And without so much, as a mere touch
Cut me into little pieces
Leaving me to doubt
Talk about God and His mercy
Who if He really does exist
Why does He desert me?
In my hour of need I truly am indeed
Alone again, naturally

Seems to me that there are more hearts
Broken in the world that can't be mended
Left unattended
What do we do, what do we do?

Nope... I'm not doubting God. But i know of more than one person who might agree with this song. Chanced upon it when i was looking for Vonda Shepard's songs. Kinda like the lyrics. It descibes what i was feeling just not too long ago. Now, i dun think about being alone... i worry if all that i enjoy now will be taken away from me. Feeling really insecure...

What can i say?

2005-11-07T14:17:00.000+08:00

EXACTLY!!! Guys... -__-"

Anti Social Yeesh

2005-11-02T15:16:00.000+08:00

Yeesh's really anti social today. She believes its got something to do with her pms-sey mood. Like what she told babe, she kinda lost count of the number of people who have pissed her off in one way or another over the past week.
Anyway, yeesh was really bad today. She walked around school refusing to even say hi to anyone. Think Stiff will be the perfect example... Saw him 4 times today. Once when she went out of class for break. Was walking behind him, REFUSED to call him. Came back from break, saw him chatting with his friends outside his class(which was opposite mine) and acted as if he was invisible. Went out of the class to print something, saw him again on my way back, conveniently ignore again. After class, saw him outside kopitiam with his friends, acted blind and walked off without saying hi again.
Nope, he didn't annoy her and she has nothing to quarrel with him about. Yeesh was just being dao. She feels like hiding home today. It's a long day in school (from 830 to 7pm) and she has two reports to clear and the killer: TODAY'S INBETWEEN 2 PUBLIC HOLIDAYS!!! Grrrr~~~
And of course, her project group mates had to piss her off. He was supposed to hand her his parts to compile by sunday. Today is a wednesday and he's still not done with it. The best part of all. When he was asked to pass his work to her by 10pm tonight, he gave a super black face and said:" I have 3 lessons back to back, all the way till 7pm today. How can i find time to do?" WTF... so? He was supposed to be done with it by sunday. Not do it today can? Irritating pest... No wonder i can't even bear to look at his face. =P

Crazy World

2005-10-31T14:36:00.000+08:00

Saw a lot of things that made me wonder what the world is coming to.

1) Bombings in New Delhi

Yet ANOTHER silly terrorist attack. How many more will there be? Every single day you pick up the newspapers and i assure u, at least one of the headlines is about terrorism.

2) The 3 girls from Indonesia who got killed on their way to school

One of the incidents that i feel most strongly about. Please forgive me for the language i'm about to use. What the fuck were those men thinking about? They were 3 innocent little girls on their way to school. What in the world did they ever do to you? Did they try to castrate you? Something i really feel like doing (don't be shocked. Yeesh has always been violent k? Especially to lousy guys) Humiliate you? If not then WHY THE HELL DID YOU, 6 STRONG HEALTHY MEN, HAVE TO ATTACK 3 DEFENCELESS GIRLS? I guess i'm reacting this way because i myself and my younger sister both belong to missionary schools. I simply cannot understand. What is wrong with attending a Christian school? It's not as if these girls were taught the wrong things in school. You guys even cut their heads off!!! What did they do to deserve this? They are afterall just young girls. Young girls just like my younger sister and her friends.

3) Mother in China cuts off ears of her own daughter

This mother is one sick lady i assure you. She ambushed her daughter when the young girl was sleeping and cut her ears off. She even ate those ears. I nearly punked when i saw that. How can anyone do that? To her own flesh and blood. Or even to anyone at all? Yucks.

After seeing all these, i can't help it but wonder what this world is coming to. So many sick bastards and crazy fellas. I'm really thankful to God. I'm really glad He chose to let me live in Singapore and gave me such a wonderful family. At least i don't have to worry about my sister or me being decapitated on the streets just because we are from some school that is associated to a particular religion. I also don't have to worry about my mum doing crazy things like eating my ears. I'm pretty sure she won't do that. The most terrible ambush she can ever set up is to come into my room and scream and tell me that i'm late for school when it's actually still very early. Well, she can go ahead and do that if she thinks it's funny. Afterall, all that can happen is that i will jump (literally) out of bed and then maybe step on my sister who sleeps beside me. My ears will still be safe and sound.

Ryan, my blog is worth more than yours!!! =P

2005-10-30T01:15:00.000+08:00

My blog is worth $1,129.08.
How much is your blog worth?

How am i gonna wakey tomorrow?

2005-10-30T00:52:00.000+08:00

At my uncle's house now... just finished my work for the day. Cleared a sociology report. I can't afford to be slack for sociology anymore. Nearly flunked one exam... that's more than enuff man. Anyway, just before i started doing my work, my little cousin who is 4 this year called me into her room.
Here's our conversation:
Shimone:"Why aren't you sleeping ah shan jie jie?"

Me:"I will sleep later. I have to do some work. Once i'm done i will sleep k?"

Shimone:"But why? I want you to sleep now, not later. Can't you do it tomorrow? Tomorrow's a sunday."

Me:"Nope. I promised my friend that i will pass my work to her by today. And... i have something on tomorrow morning."

Shimone:"But if you don't sleep now, how can u wake up tomorrow to do what you have to do? You have to sleep a lot you know? If not, then how you do anything? Tomorrow no nap for you also..."

My cousin's 4 this year. And she knows about the importance of sleep more than i do. Hahha... i seriously didn't know how to answer her question. This kid is starting to come up with more and more difficult questions for me to answer. Hahaha... but she's still as adorable as ever. Still curls herself up when she sleeps. And guess what? Her parents bought her a bedroom set with a pull out bed so that next time i come and stay over, i can sleep with her. Then, she won't have to tuck me into bed first before she goes to bed. Hhahah...

The Trouble with Love is -- Kelly Clarkson

2005-10-26T17:14:00.000+08:00

Love can be a many splendored thing
Can't deny the joy it brings
A dozen roses
Diamond rings
Dreams for sale
And fairy tales
It'll make you hear a symphony
And you just want the world to see
But like a drug that makes you blind
It'll fool you every time

The trouble with love is
It can tear you up inside
Make your heart believe a lie
It's stronger than your pride
The trouble with love is
It doesn't care how fast you fall
And you can't refuse the call
See you've got no say at all

Now I was a once a fool it's true
I played the game by all the rules
But now my world's a deeper blue
I'm sadder but I'm wiser too
I swore I'd never love again
I swore my heart would never mend
Said love wasn't worth the pain
But then I hear it call my name

The trouble with love is
It can tear you up inside
Make your heart believe a lie
It's stronger then your pride
The trouble with love is
It doesn't care how fast you fall
And you can't refuse the call
See you've got no say at all

Every time I turn around
I think I've got it all figured out
My heart keeps callin
And I keep on fallin
Over and over again
This sad story always ends the same
Me standin' in the pouring rain
It seems no matter what I do
It tears my heart in two

(The trouble with love is the) trouble with love
(It can tear you up inside) it can tear you up inside
(Make your heart believe a lie) Make your heart believe a lie
It's stronger than your pride
(The trouble with love is) It's in your heart it's in your soul
(It doesn't care how fast you fall) You're losing all control
(And you can't refuse the call)
So you've got no say at all
The trouble with love is nothing (Oooo….ya)
It can tear you up inside
Make your heart believe a lie (the trouble with love)

I really should stop surfing online and reading lyrics in my sociology class. But then, i seriously couldn't resist the temptation... Oh well, it was not time wasted. It's not everyday that u find a song with lyrics that describes EXACTLY what u feel... I'm kinda glad i found it.

25/10/2005 (exactly 2 more months to x'mas)

2005-10-25T23:19:00.000+08:00

Today has been a bloody bad day. Haiz... okok... before I start whining, let's start from the very beginning.

I was supposed to wake up at 645 today to clear my finance report then go down to SCS to meet Lacy... Unfortunately, the lazy worm in Yishan told her to forget it, just stay home and sleep till 10am. And so, that was exactly what she did. Damnit. Haven't I just said yesterday that I will not be lazy again? Anyway, that's really a very small matter. After 10am, I got up then left to go school, met Huixia to study and everything was running absolutely fine. I even had a good chat with Sheen.

So why was today a mad day u might ask then. Oh well, yeah... everything was fine. Until someone came and annoyed me then everything took a bad turn. I was just trying to teach her some stuff can? If she already knew then just say she already knew. Did she have to ask if I thought she was stupid? I didn't mean it that way. Did she have to say that? I was just trying to be nice what. Was that a sin?

Then after that, I messaged a friend to whine. He took damn long to reply then after the 2^nd message, he stopped replying. Guys and their bloody imaginary, in built walkman that appears once they don't wanna hear a girl whine. Bloody hell...

As if that was not enough, I had to get onto a bus only to realize that I didn't top up my ez link card and so, I had to pay in coins...coins that I have not been accumulating for a very long time... now, I don't even wanna recall what happened on the bus. First, the bus moved so bloody slow that I think if a snail moved beside it, the snail might have won the race!!! Wow~~~ interesting right? Snail win race leh!!! Cool hor? I think a new world record has been created!!! I know I'm damn sarcastic. U dun hafta tell me that. Oh well, how else was I supposed to react? I was already late for tuition!!!

Of course, if the bus journey was only plain slow I won't be whining so much. Afterall, I've had my fair share of slow buses in this life. What happened after that was that a mad woman got onto the bus a little while later and she started talking to herself. Seriously, on a lousy day like this, the last thing u need is to see someone who has been driven mad by stress. To make things even more marvelous for me, she had to end up sitting beside me.

As my bus journey came to its end and my darling slow slow bus finally approached my destination, I was kinda relieved to know that finally I will be getting down and away from a lousy trip. Then, I saw this lady carrying a young baby getting onto the bus just about 2 bus stops away from where I was going to get off. So I got up from my seat and wanted to offer her my seat. And guess what? From God knows where, a lady appeared from the back and snatched the seat. Kaoz... if she was short of an arm or a leg or pregnant or carrying a baby, I won't mind. But, she was a perfectly ok, healthy, "no-need-seat" person!!! Can she be more polite? Will she die standing for a little while longer? The other lady needed the seat more larh...

Haiz... I wonder what the hell is wrong today? Everything seems to be wrong. Even when I tried to be nice and do something good, it didn't turn out the way I wanted it to. Oh well, forget it. I will just find someone to whine to later online...(oh... a side note. I'm typing this while having tuition with my cousin. A cousin who is overly dependent on me)

Desiderata -- Max Ehrmann

2005-10-24T14:15:00.000+08:00

Go placidly amid the noise and haste,
and remember what peace there may be in silence.
As far as possible without surrender
be on good terms with all persons.Max Ehrmann
Speak your truth quietly and clearly;
and listen to others,
even the dull and the ignorant;
they too have their story.

Avoid loud and aggressive persons,
they are vexations to the spirit.
If you compare yourself with others,
you may become vain and bitter;
for always there will be greater and lesser persons than yourself.
Enjoy your achievements as well as your plans.

Keep interested in your own career, however humble;
it is a real possession in the changing fortunes of time.
Exercise caution in your business affairs;
for the world is full of trickery.
But let this not blind you to what virtue there is;
many persons strive for high ideals;
and everywhere life is full of heroism.

Be yourself.
Especially, do not feign affection.
Neither be cynical about love;
for in the face of all aridity and disenchantment
it is as perennial as the grass.

Take kindly the counsel of the years,
gracefully surrendering the things of youth.
Nurture strength of spirit to shield you in sudden misfortune.
But do not distress yourself with dark imaginings.
Many fears are born of fatigue and loneliness.
Beyond a wholesome discipline,
be gentle with yourself.

You are a child of the universe,
no less than the trees and the stars;
you have a right to be here.
And whether or not it is clear to you,
no doubt the universe is unfolding as it should.

Therefore be at peace with God,
whatever you conceive Him to be,
and whatever your labors and aspirations,
in the noisy confusion of life keep peace with your soul.

With all its sham, drudgery, and broken dreams,
it is still a beautiful world.
Be cheerful.
Strive to be happy.

- Max Ehrmann, Desiderata, Copyright 1952 -

"stolen" from my babe's blog

I really wanna be able to do what has been advised here. But how can i not compare? Arghhh... I can't help myself but compare other people to me. It has already made me into a vain and bitter person already. Why is it that people can have what they have just like that?
For me, i don't ask for much. I only want someone to whine to when i've had a lousy day, someone to give me a hug when i get the jitters before my presenations, someone to talk to me when i'm not in the mood to do work and someone to give me a morning call just to make sure that i don't oversleep. And so, why so tough? What the hell is wrong? (see? told u guys i was a bitter woman)
As for being at peace with God, i seriously wish i can. I dunno what is wrong with me but i can't seem to be able to commit myself to going for service every sunday. Sometimes, i blame it on the lazy worm living in Yeesh. Other times, i blame it on my parents or i will use excuses like i cannot make myself give up on some stuff i have been taught since young.
Haiz... my brain not really working today. Will continue talking about this entry when my brains come back to me.

Haiz...

2005-10-23T23:35:00.000+08:00

Haiz... sometimes i find her really adorable but sometimes, i really cannot help it but wanna kill her. She did 17 slides for juz her part!!! Can she please stop it? This is the second presentation already... And we already told her last time that we only have 30 mins. Seriously, you don't have enuff time for so many slides... Why can't she get it? I'm the one compiling and i'm seriously damn pek chek now. I really wanna cut the number of slides she has but i can't do that cos i dunno how it will affect her. She's gotta start understanding that by talking more, prof won't give her more marks... Okok... i dunno about this prof, he has been very irritatingly ambiguous about what he expects. But then the project presentation should really be about quality. You should summarize it!!! No one in the class wants to hear you talk 15 min about something they are not interested in. Leave more time for Q and A. That's the time u interact with the class and show them how much u know about your case. Haiz... whatever. I bet tmr's rehearsal time will be spent on letting her shorten her speech and cut down on slides.
Haiz... another thing i wanna whine about. My thumb got this tiny little cut and it's swollen... So pain. =( But sadly, there's no one i can whine to about such small things. Can u imagine me calling a fren and start whining about such tiny things? Haiz... it's times like these that makes me wish that i'm back with LT somehow... Well, he has his uses u know? Nono, WZ, not just sex, entertainment and physical labour. He can make me not wanna complain about such small things because half the time he ain't listening. He is also really good at making me work hard. This term, i'm slacking like my dad's gonna be able to help me BUY a degree... It's terrible ain't it? I figure that i will be getting pretty lousy grades this term. When i think about how slack i've become, i start wondering if it's actually better that i don't get over him? Oh well, i will think more... I will be more depressed but that keeps my brain working!!! I think that will make me less of an airhead then.
Why airhead and not bimbo u might wonder... Oh... that's easy to answer. Cos i'm not even pretty enough to qualify as a bimbo. A friend asked me the other day: "Yishan, do u ever feel inferior?" My answer? Definitely. In fact, i feel that pretty often. Just that i dun really show it. I always wonder why some of my friends look so good, feel so confident, are so smart, so popular. I know that i myself is not too shabby. I get my fair share of attention, brains and confidence. But why can't i have more? Haiz...i guess that's the thing about human beings... we cant never truly be satisfied with what we have.

Good Mood

2005-10-20T01:12:00.000+08:00

In a very good mood today even though i only slept at 5am. Ahahah... I think i'm a bit crazy. I actually feel good that i have so much work to clear.
Of cos, besides that, there are other reasons. But then me not gonna say what... My blog has been discovered by too many people already... secrets are no longer safe. Hahaha...so ppl, when u guys leave taggies, be careful k? Don't leak my secrets out. =P
On a side note, Mr Steve Kong, u will NEVER EVER be able to get any secrets out from this blog. Wahhahas... i will rather change blog than to let u read it. =P

One of my Fav Quotes

2005-10-17T14:43:00.000+08:00

I myself have always found it difficult to treat anything too seriously and I believe the world would be a better place if everyone followed my example.
- Roald Dahl (My Uncle Oswald p.134)

Hahha... yeah. The world really needs more people who are not as serious.

My 3rd Pet!!!

2005-10-17T00:27:00.000+08:00

adopt your own virtual pet!

Hahha... u guys got it correct. Yeesh got herself another new pet!!! And of cos, since it's a piggy, it had to be named after her favourite pig right? Too bad they didn't have a spider. If they had, then i would get a Charlotte to accompany my dearest Wilbur. Anyway, i know what you guys are thinking. Oh no no~ Don't look at me with those accusing eyes. I won't neglect my pets!!! Hahaha... The posts with Hammy Ham Ham and Ducky Wacky are now linked to my blog so i can go visit them as and when i miss them. I do visit them at least once a week k? In fact, i just went to give Ducky Wacky more bread and made him quack a little. Hahah... i also made Hammy Ham Ham run on the wheel and tried to make him dizzy! Hahhah... hope they had fun. =)
Btw, just in case you guys wonder what's so cute about Wilbur, oh well, he can ROLL IN MUD!!! Hahhaha...and after he gets dirty, you can get water to clean him up and also feed him an apple!!! Hope you guys like my new pet. Don't bully my pets k? If you guys made Wilbur roll in mud, please clean him up k? And if I catch anyone of you bullying them then i will make sure i whack you the next time i see you around. =P

Wonder Why

2005-10-15T02:31:00.000+08:00

Just as she thought that there was a glimmer of hope, it disappeared! It was gone again! And it left her totally lost and wondering why...

Wondering why the people she loves can't love her back
Wondering why she can't love the people who love her
Wondering why it seems so hard to love someone
Wondering why she still tries even though it's so hard
Wondering why she is so persistent in finding one she truly loves
Wondering why she still believes that the most fortunate kinda relationship is one whereby it's mutual
Wondering why her heart aches but doesn't wanna die
Wondering why she allows her heart to get injured in the first place then expects it to just die when it hurts
Wondering why she is unsuccessful in getting God to send her some signs, the signs He sent to other people
Wondering why she has to turn to religion for some things even though she knows that there is some sort of a fallacy in what they preach
Wondering why he does what he does
Wondering why he didn't reply
Wondering why he bothered to "test water" - cos she was the one he wanted or cos no one else wanted him
Wondering why she sits here now, blogging when she should be doing her data entry work
Wondering why she is awake at 245am, blogging about a guy who is most probably sleeping and not dreaming of her

Horoscope bodes ill

2005-10-14T22:13:00.000+08:00

Dear Yeesh,
Here is your single's love horoscope
for Thursday, October 13:

If you're involved in a tug-of-war -- with a romantic prospect or within your own heart -- consult the wise ones. No, not the authors of the self-help book of the moment; rather, your friends and loved ones.

Dear Yeesh,
Here is your single's love horoscope
for Friday, October 14:

You're the patient, warmhearted, reliable one, always with a listening ear and a shoulder to cry on. Well, your friends have those attributes too, and they won't think less of you if you utilize them now.

Hmmm... why my horoscope nowadays all seem to indicate that i will need advice from friends? Especially when i am finally bathing in happiness... It is cos the happiness is just an illusion? I'm scared... not cos of the horoscope prediction but cos i seriously believe that happiness don't come so easily... i oso know that God always likes to make me go through a little more than i'm comforatble with.

Complicated

2005-10-12T00:05:00.000+08:00

Take a look around, this is what I see
Is there anybody else that feels like me, yeah
You sweat, you sweat, you bleed, you bleed
What you get ain't what you see
Up is down and black is white to me

I'm complicated, I get frustrated
Right or wrong, love or hate it
I'm complicated, you can't sedate it
I heard that song but I won't play it
It's alright, it's OK, you wouldn't want me any other way
Momma, keep on praying cause I ain't changin'
I'm complicated, yeah
I'm complicated, yeah

I'm smart enough to know what I don't know
I'm fool enough to stay when I should go
You work, you work, you cry, you cry
You watch your whole life pass you by
Sometimes you've got to close your eyes to see

I'm complicated, I get frustrated
Right or wrong, love or hate it
I'm complicated, you can't sedate it
Heard that song but I won't play it
It's alright, it's OK, you wouldn't want me any other way
Momma, keep on praying cause I ain't changin'
I'm complicated, yeah
I'm complicated, yeah

Is there anybody out there?
Just like everybody out there
Just one somebody out there, Just like me

I'm complicated, I get frustrated
Right or wrong, love or hate it
I'm complicated, you can't sedate it
I heard that song but I won't play it
It's alright, it's okay, you wouldn't want me any other way
Momma, keep on praying, 멵ause I ain't changin'
I'm complicated, I get frustrated
Right or wrong, love or hate it
I'm complicated, you can't sedate it
Heard that song but I won't play it

Is there anybody out there?
Just like everybody out there
Just one somebody out there
Just like me
Is there anybody out there
Just like everybody out there
Just one somebody out there
Just like me
I'm complicated

hahha... Wish i could be juzt as defiant as this dude in the song. Sometimes, i think i lack a particular character. I let others define who i am. I dunno if it's cos i don't really have a mind of my own or is it that the way they lead their lives is how i wanna lead mine too. Or could it be possible that i dun really know how i wanna lead my life? So i see how people lead theirs and blindly follow?
Hmmm... interesting.

Impulse Shopping

2005-10-11T00:43:00.000+08:00

Hhha... Yishan and her impulse shopping day.
1) $60 on lisa ono concert ticket
2) $48 on 2 pairs of shoes
3) $13 on a topshop top
4) $23 on a dinner she knew she won't be able to finish

I feel so broke now... hahah... and i still want
1) my red spects -$120
2) a new shirt -$60
3) another pair of new shoes - $40
4) a new HP -$300+?

hahah... how how? No income then spend so much... -ouch-

That's All

2005-10-09T03:26:00.000+08:00

That's All Lyrics -- Michael Buble

I can only give you love that lasts forever,
And a promise to be near each time you call.
And the only heart I own
For you and you alone
That's all,
That's all

I can only give you country walks in springtime
And a hand to hold when leaves begin to fall;
And a love whose burning light
Will warm the winter night
That's all,
That's all.

There are those I am sure who have told you,
They would give you the world for a toy.
All I have are these arms to enfold you,
And a love time can never destroy.

If you're wondering what I'm asking in return, dear,
You'll be glad to know that my demands are small.
Say it's me that you'll adore,
For now and evermore
That's all,
That's all.

If you're wondering what I'm asking in return, dear,
You'll be glad to know that my demands are small.
Say it's me that you'll adore,
For now and evermore
That's all,
That's all.

Haiz... when will anyone ever sing this song for me?

Nice Pic

2005-10-04T23:17:00.000+08:00

i NEVER wanna grow up

2005-10-04T22:56:00.000+08:00

Found from my dearie Char's blog:

I hope somehow there'll always be
A little of that child in me:
That soft sweet innocence of eye
As clear as ocean, blue as sky...
That eager reaching out of hands
To all I meet who would be friends,
And that I'll be sincere and trust
With childlike faith that all are just.
My life from worry will be free:
To happines I'll hold the key;
And every day from morn till night
Be filled with wonder and delight.
And though the years may come and go,
My heart will never older grow......

yeah!!! That's the way to go. NEVER grow up. Once u do, u face so many more challenges, problems etc etc. Haiz... i wished i was Peter Pan sometimes. Hahahhaa... when i said this today, scared my freshie. He never thought about how life would be after he has to start working. I made him realise dat it was gonna be BAD. =P

2005-10-04T01:26:00.000+08:00

Click on the image to see a bigger pic =)
A very interesting comic strip i found on my dearie's blog. Hahhah... Sometimes even i hafta agree. Ryan has been trying to get me to be more realistic. Don't shut so many ppl out. But then again, like what sharon said, it's the things we can't get that will continue to tempt us. =)
I know that i should be more realistic but then i don't wanna hafta settle for a lousy dude either. Don't wanna lower my standards again and meet guys like you-noe-who.

野百合也有春天

2005-09-29T23:45:00.000+08:00

词曲:罗大佑

仿佛如同一场梦
我们如此短暂地相逢
你像一缕春风轻轻柔柔吹入我心中
而今何处是你往日的笑容
记忆中那样熟悉的笑容

你可

知道我爱你想你恋你怨你深情永不变
难道你不曾回头想想昨日的誓言
就算你留恋开放在水中娇艳的水仙
别忘了寂寞的山谷的角落里野百合也有春天

从来未曾拥有你
纵然喜怒哀伤和欢娱
从来未曾属于真情的是空欢的无语
而今当你说你将会离去
忽然间我开始失去我自己

你可知道我爱你想你恋你怨你深情永不变
难道你不曾回头想想昨日的誓言
就算你留恋开放在水中娇艳的水仙
别忘了寂寞的山谷的角落里野百合也有春天

你可知道我爱你想你恋你怨你深情永不变
难道你不曾回头想想昨日的誓言
就算你留恋开放在水中娇艳的水仙
别忘了寂寞的山谷的角落里野百合也有春天
......
啦.....啦.....啦.....啦.....
很想以华文表达我现在的心情可是我不能。老了，生锈了。力不从心了。打字已经没有以前那样的快了而我的华文也没有以前的好。
So here it goes. For no apparent reason, i've been listening to this song very frequently recently. Dunno if it's cos of the nice melody or is it cos of the lyrics. Maybe it's also cos it reminds me of those days where i can listen to a song like that and sit and cry for hours non stop. Yeah, for those of you who dunno, i sat down, supposedly studying in the middle of the night but ended up crying like some mad woman. That was how silly i was. I shed tears for a guy who was absolutely not worth it and i knew that too.
But then, in those days, i felt alive. I felt that i was yes, you got it correct the first time, ALIVE! I know it may sound saddistic. I had to feel hurt and pain to feel alive. Recently, no matter how tired i am, no matter how sad i may be, and no matter how pms-ish i feel, i still don't cry. It's almost as if my tears are all gone. all wasted on him? Maybe. Maybe not.
Yishan used to be such a silly girl. Hahaaha... she would cry when her last performance in choir was ruin, when the choir didn't get a gold, when her juniors drove her mad and when the politics in choir were over whelming. She also cried herself silly when she watched those japanese and korean dramas which had to star a female lead who was going to die of cancer or something similiar and when her mum made her stop watching all those stupid vcds and go study. She would sometimes wake up in the middle of the night and sit at the sofa in the living room and cry cos she was so worried she would be rock bottom in st nicks. She would cry just so that she can go to sleep without having to think too much. She was also the silly girl who sat in front of her primary school principal and cried cos she didn't wanna go st nicks with her miserable psle score of 256.
Now, she cries less. She cries only when there are some really major major issues that she cannot handle anymore. She cries about grandma's death which was about a year ago but that's all. Sometimes, she wonders why. Like now. I guess it's cos she has grown up. She kinda find it silly to cry over a female lead who has died in 3 other dramas already. But on the other hand, she wishes to do that once again. At least those tears were shed cos she had feelings. Now, she don't feel anything anymore. When someone she used to like turned out to be an absolute jerk, he also took all hopes away. She no longer hopes for much. If she doesn't get the love she wants? Oh well, she gets a little whiny for a while but later gets back to life like nothing's wrong. She knows that she cannot be disappointed anymore. Simply because she cannot hope for too much. She is afterall a girl who has been dumped by a jerk ultimately.
(i have absolutely no clue why i wrote this calling myself "her" and "yishan". I guess it made it easier to write about my lifestory and sad stuff without being too involved... Self protection? Maybe, maybe not.)

2005-09-29T14:51:00.000+08:00

He just messaged again today to ask me out. Now, i don't just suspect that something is wrong. I KNOW that he is up to no good. I bet he's got something up his sleeves. 100% sure plus chop plus thumb print, signature, and i will add my toe print if necessary. He's just being too enthusiastic to know about my life recently. I smell something fishy... Oh well, it's kinda good that he is suddenly so eager. Made me realise that not only do i not have feelings for him anymore, i'm truly disgusted with him. -pukes- -rolls eyeballs-
Anyway, i'll be meeting Huixia tomorow to study. So happy!!! Hahahah~ i haven't seen her in months. Miss her so much. Used to study with her all the time but now, very sianz... she's moved to Hougang and that is so bloody far from my house lar... The two of us can no longer do what we used to do -- Skip lessons just so that we can study with each other.
Hahahha... Can tell that i'm extremely happy yea? But then, i'm also very stressed!!! I'm really worried for my finance. I've been studying so hard(ok, maybe not veh veh hard) and still, i'm at the bottom of my class!!! I seriously dunno why it's like that. It's so different from my MA and FA. Slack and still get pretty decent grades. Is it cos of the class? I have no clue. I seriously miss my class alot. I miss Aileen, Ah Cui, Xiu Chun, Minsheng, Melissa, Janis, Yingshan, Ash, Uncle Ivan, Chris, Paul, Esther etc etc. There would always be people to go for breaks with me, stone with me during class, MSN and then later, stay in school and mug like crazy.
I think out of so many of them, i miss Xiu Chun and Ah Cui most. I talked to them most and all 3 of us study like mad all the time. HAhahha~ Yes, i've been staying in school to study with my freshies too but it's just different. I work harder when i am with Ah Cui and Xiu Chun. The two of them seem to have this ability to make me concentrate and cheong like mad. AHahhaha~
okok... gtg. Macrae just ended class.